That word makes me cringe. How can it in anyway send a message of grace? I care, you matter, there is such a thing as good and evil. Pain isn't always bad. The lack of it isn't always good. Sometimes I care and you matter so I choose for you... pain. I have to get a tooth pulled this next week. If I don't, well eventually the bone around that tooth will erode away. Eventually, the infection would poison my body. It's gonna hurt. But it is the path to healing.
I don't feel any pain right now. Why would I choose pain? Because pain is the route to healing. It is often so. I'm thinking of Jesus and pain... and how much we selfishly avoid it... and how He selflessly didn't