Wooing a broken heart

Ever ask God why? Why did this happen? Why that? I have questioned God’s integrity on every turn I think. But God has been very patient with me. He has had to earn my trust. Not because He has wronged me but because I have been wronged so many times before. I have learned to be tough and wise in the ways of the world. I am not easily fooled. Nor am I easily reached.

Still, on my tough days, when things in the present are hurtful or frightening, sometimes my first reaction is to run in the wrong direction. The thing is my life, my brain, everything is held together in Him (Colossians 1:17) so I can’t run very far before everything falls apart!

I don’t believe God gets frustrated with that… would you if I was your toddler? God is wooing a broken heart. I picture Him often on His knees getting small enough to really look me in the face. Some would not think of God this way but isn’t that how and why Jesus came? Did He come to save us from our sins? Or did He come to restore relationship? Sure one needed to be accomplished and to open the way for the other but the driving motivation was reconciliation.

On a personal level reconciliation means wooing a broken winged, scared, delicate little bird and building enough trust to touch her and bring healing. That has taken a lot of time and patience. I have often treated God like another deserved. But He has been so very sweet and kind in response.

Day 5: Bringing life to Order

To understand this post read February 7th's post "Bringing Life to Order"

It’s hard to know how to start this morning. Someone asked me yesterday what I meant by having a Business meeting with God. I have been thinking about that ever since. I am reminded of a book I read years ago called “The sidetracked Home Executive.” (great book!) It is a story of two sisters who work together to bring their lives into order out of total chaos. They started every day with good intentions but then got lost in the immediate. After every major catastrophe these two sisters would meet together at a fast food joint where the kids could play on the slides and they would strategize together for new solutions. I guess my business meetings are like that. I am easily lost in the immediate and lose my direction. I am trying to ask God to help me make a list of what to do each day. If you are an organized person that may seem silly but for me right now today, it is vital.

More and more it feels like passion is not encouraged. Life just happens and days go by like sand moving through a sieve. Days are lost with no real acknowledgement of the loss. I want to live with intentionality. I want to take each day and live it! I want to taste it, smell it, hear it, see it and touch it. Years ago when our kids were little and we were broke. A friend took me out to pizza, the first pizza I had, had in maybe a year or more. That pizza was amazing… I relished every bite and my friend sat and marveled at my passion for pizza. There are things in every day to relish. I whole heartedly believe that. But I don’t just “see” them. I have to intentionally take the time to taste it.

The opposite of that is the chaos in my life… in my brain. I’m thinking of Colossians 1:17 where it says, “In Him all things hold together”. That for me is a promise. In Him my brain, my life holds together. Outside of Him it falls a…. part!

Yesterday’s report:

1) (bsmtg w God) You know I had good time but as for a plan for the day I’m not sure I asked for one.

2) (blog) comments are nice thanks people

3) (ARK) God give me your eyes.

4) (Cln smthg) I did the laundry today

5) (Odr smthg) I got the laundry folded and mostly put away

6) (Bk) checked adwords an reworked my ad

7) (Fam) lots of family time today. Had a bit of conflict today. I hate conflict but it taught me that I get too focused on what twists my truth and miss what is good because of it.

8) (Me) I had some time yesterday to sort my brain and start slow. I SO needed that.

9) (Mnstry) The ministry stuff comes pretty easy right now. Lots of people struggling who need to talk. It feels funny to put this on the list.

10) (rest) It was restful to me yesterday to start out slow, think and ponder. I wish I had two hours every morning just to order my scattered thoughts.