I have spent a lot of years in ministry serving women who have in some way been hurt. Most are deeply lonely and longing for a "soul mate". Digging deeper, many have explained to me of their yearning, desire for a man who loves and understands them and could meet their hunger to feel delighted in.
These same woman have often fallen for the lie that says the way to gain the love of a man, is to have sex with him. And so they travel from bed to bed brutalizing their vulnerabilities in hopes of being seen and loved.
My message to women is this:
If he is not man enough to keep his pants on, He is not man enough for you! Look for a man that wants to protect you and not risk your life for one fleeting moment of passion. Am I old fashion and unrealistic?... or smart? It is you, oh woman, who has the most to loose in that moment of passion. What exactly are you getting in exchange for your risk?
What do you think? Are you horrified? Do you think if you wait for a man who is man enough, no one will ever be interested you? But, if you don't wait, what motivation do men have to honor you? Turn to the LORD for your need to be delighted in and be woman enough to wait.
Marriage succeeds when both people live, not to get their own needs met, but to meet the needs of one another. It is intended to be a sanctuary for building holiness into each other. Marriage is like an extremely difficult mountain trail. Without the help of each other, reaching the top is impossible. It is intended be a protection for all within it's shroud of commitment and trust. But when marriage is perceived as a place to further cement someone into the role of meeting your needs, it is a trap... and literally hell on earth. It is especially hurtful for the one most consumed. No wonder so many have shunned marriage completely! If you are not in it to serve, you are not in it at all.
My message to men is this:
I am sorry that this world treats men with contempt and disregard. It grieves me to see men being defined only as selfish and carnal. You are not an ogre simply because you are a man. You sir, were never intended to live as a predator, and you have complete control over your sexual urges. You do not have to live a certain way simply because others perceive you as such. Stand up! Be different! Live a life of honor!
Learn what it means to honor God with your body and help your woman do the same. Stand and say no! No, I am not here for sex, No, I am not here to get my needs met. I am here to honor you and to get to know you. Yes, I am listening, I want to understand and delight in who God made you to be, but only God can meet your needs as only God can meet mine.
Do not just stop pressing when a woman says no, don't press for sex at all, period! Press for relationship. Seek a partner and a treasured friend. And when you find her... be man enough to marry the girl!
