Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Back to Eden Gardening

Back to Eden Gardening, have you ever heard of it?  Back to Eden gardening was started by a guy who didn't have enough water in his well to water a big garden.  He asked the Lord what to do, and the Lord said, "Do what I do"  And so he watched the Master Gardener and noticed that His forests are always covered by debris.  Leaves and sticks and chunks of bark.  So he covered his ground with wood chips and has had great success.  The trick is not to disturb the ground with tilling and the like but just cover it and let the cover decompose into moisture holding nutrients.  

I have wondered how many things we do thinking that our way is better than God's way.  Like GMO foods.  What are we doing?  And what was God's original intent.  Check out Deuteronomy 22:9-11.  

“You shall not sow your vineyard with different kinds of seed, lest the yield of the seed which you have sown and the fruit of your vineyard be defiled. “You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together. “You shall not wear a garment of different sorts, such as wool and linen mixed together. "

These are the commands from God to the Israelites.  They came with a promise.  

“If you diligently heed the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in His sight, give ear to His commandments and keep all His statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you which I have brought on the Egyptians. For I am the Lord who heals you.” (Exodus 15:26)

I'm thinking there could be a cause and effect here that we are missing.  God didn't want DNA defiled.  He didn't want to mix one kind of grape with another.  Why?  I don't know, but There are only 66 books in the bible.  They are God's very short, written record.  I believe  everything in it has some good purpose.  It has a point for being there.  And in some way shape of form it is a protection for us to follow it.  (not for legalistic reasons, following the law isn't a path to salvation, but there is wisdom in the word of the LORD.  Why is He wanting us not to defile a seed?)

I don't believe God is threatening us here, I believe He is showing us the path to life.  So why would we mess with what God created?  That isn't just for the food we eat.  But it's a good start! 


Friday, August 26, 2016

Haters

That word makes me cringe.  How can it in anyway send a message of grace?  I care, you matter, there is such a thing as good and evil.  Pain isn't always bad.  The lack of it isn't always good.  Sometimes I care and you matter so I choose for you... pain.  I have to get a tooth pulled this next week.  If I don't, well eventually the bone around that tooth will erode away.  Eventually, the infection would poison my body.  It's gonna hurt.  But it is the path to healing.

I don't feel any pain right now.  Why would I choose pain?  Because pain is the route to healing.  It is often so.  I'm thinking of Jesus and pain... and how much we selfishly avoid it... and how He selflessly didn't

Monday, July 11, 2016

Lives matter!

Is it a question of black or blue?  Or is it a question of humanity?  Life matters!  Your life matters!  Each and every precious breath on this earth is fraught with purpose.  We are created with great purpose! Every life... every breath... every fragile, frail, angry, hurting, bruised and broken soul... MATTERS!

We are here to build. ("Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." [Ephesians 4:29]) We are here to care about another's needs and do something about it.  It matters that you are hurting.  The millions that are hungry, orphaned, without a country, without a home.  We all matter.

But the secret to winning the war against contempt is not contempt.  It is love, service and grace.  "Therefore “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; If he is thirsty, give him a drink; For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”" (Romans 12:20) 

If you want to change the worlds response to you, your people or your cause, give grace to your enemy.  Be a people of kindness, goodness and grace.  Create a movement that builds up and calls out that all lives matter... I'm in... you?

Monday, June 27, 2016

I was reading Ecclesiastes yesterday and this passage jumped out at me; "Also do not lake to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you.  For many times, also, your own heart has known that even you have cursed others."  Ecclesiastes 7:21-22  What a hard concept to actually put into practice.  I have been the victim of tons of contempt.  I have figured out that people harbor ill thoughts and beliefs and then wait until you are on your back to pounce and dump.  It's frightening but only if I take to heart everything people say.  Funny how much resilient people seem to be able to ignore.  As for me, I have a deep, deep fear of another's contempt.  It has way too much power in my life even now.

What would it be like if I didn't take to heart everything people say?  What if it didn't matter... not in the sense that I don't care but in the sense that it just isn't where my equilibrium lies?  This is a place in my life God has worked on for years.

I'm thinking of C.S. Lewis's book "The Great Divorce"  In it his picture of hell is just a tiny crack in the ground of heaven.  We have made it this huge gaping void but perhaps I need to give it much less significance?

For me today, this passage is a picture of grace.  I have known such grace from people who let me restate myself until I feel understood.  It is so amazing to have someone say, "I heard X but I know you well enough to know you meant something else.  Try again!"  Or just to be given the gift of patience.  What a gift for someone to see only the good in you in spite of your flaws and crooked features.  I am the type that sees the splotch of ink, rather than the rest of the white paper.  God forgive me... heal me!

God I want to offer that gift to others.  I want to be resilient and patient and kind.  (Listening)  It is true that I have focused on people's faults... perhaps as a protection/defense?  If I see another's faults maybe mine are more palatable?  Such the opposite of grace.

Grace is such a powerful thing.  Perhaps the one weapon we have to win against evil eh?
It's confusing, isn't it?  how did we get here?  It happened so fast didn't it?  Has America lost it's identity?  Who are we now... and what do we stand for?  Equality?  I beg to differ.  Justice? Not that I've seen.  Hope?  So sad.. so little hope.  It feels like we as a country have lost our way.  Doesn't it?

But then, why are we surprised?  What is the end result of teaching people that there is no God?  That we just happened and we are simply descendants of apes?  What if there was no intelligent design?  What does that make us then? What now is the point of living?  If we are not created, we are of no more value than dogs, or maybe even less, since we can make more informed choices eh?  Look at the consequences of our decisions.  it is much bigger than we might think.  We no longer have a reason to be reasonable.

Think about money.  Jesus says in Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth."  Is he implying that there are only two masters out there?  We will serve Him or money?  I wonder... We have definitely made the switch in this country.  And money is a cruel master isn't it?

I keep wondering how to navigate a world that serves a different master than I do.  We keep missing each other on every pass because I really don't want to serve money and our laws are written with the expectation that I do.  I am lost as to how to respond.  

But I believe we were created and for a deep, deep purpose.  Perhaps in these times that purpose is more important than ever eh?  light is most needed the darker the night isn't it? So how do I become light?  What can I do in this world now?  (listening)...  I simply hear "be kind".  I have seen that, the more we are focused on money the less we notice the people who have none.  Where I am today, homeless people are huddled in huge cardboard villages.  How can I learn to see?  Learn to watch? and learn to be kind?

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Focus?

It's raining, the birds are singing playfully outside and there is a very slight puff of wind teasing soggy branches of trees.  But there is also the harsh sounds of a sea plane coming down for a landing and the swish of a car, the blare of a truck's air brakes and the tick, ticking of a clock.

Isn't it funny how the continuous roar of the sea is soothing but the continuous running of a toilet can drive you crazy?

I wonder at how much noise we produce just by being busy.  We drive rather than walk because we don't have the time?  Or is it that we just don't want to walk anymore?  So much of what we have invented was invented to save time and effort.  The washing machine, dryer, dishwasher.  What about the power drill, lawn mower and car?  I use them all.  But if they save me time I don't know what happened to it.

I saw a clip where Bernie Sanders was saying that he played ball in Brooklyn growing up and a part of the positive for him was not having parental supervision all the time.  He said kids learned how to interact by interacting on their own.  It's a very good point!

Why are we busy?  What do we do?  We work, so that we can have money so that we can eat to have strength to go to work?  Kids go to school to get homework so that they can study at home and go to school and get more homework?  

Is there another way? What does it mean to be still?

This verse is written in the command form:

"Tremble, and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still". Psalm 4:4

So is this one:

"Be still, and know that I am God;" Psalm 46:10

The birds are still singing outside.  I think I will go outside to listen.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

What if we cared?

What if we cared?  Would it change anything?  I am in the middle of a movie about Mother Theresa and how the home for the dying began.  It began because of a calling... a voice from God.  It also began because of compassion.  Mother Theresa could not see the pain or the poor outside her window and do nothing.

Can we?  I have talked before of a time when a few of my friends and I went to do "street ministry" by performing on the streets of Santa Monica.  You  have to get a permit to play there and there are regulations (this is California after all).  You must be a certain amount of feet from another street performer of which there were many.  We had no idea of the competition for a good place to play.  Our ignorance left us scrambling for one of the last, not so perfect spots that were left.  

In the process, I was watching from the back of our little parade when I saw one of our company literally step over a homeless man on her race to a spot that was open.  I was sickened by the total lack of acknowledgment of the human being she had traversed.  But on we trudged until we found our spot and started singing.  People gathered around but quickly dispersed when they realized we had a "religious" message.  

I wanted to leave with them, to slink out of the limelight and disappear. I wanted to scream, "You go guys! I am with you!"  "I would leave too if I were you!"  

Who are we really?  Can we shutter our windows forever or will we someday be on the outside of the fence.  

Mother Theresa felt called to live among the poor.  It was dangerous, it was unaccepted by her peers. It was radical.  But in the end, the whole world wept the loss when she died.

I can almost see Jesus and he stands with her and says, "Go and do likewise!"

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Withholding good things...

I know a woman who is very afraid of running out of money.  She is old.  She is facing medical issues... she has over three million dollars.  Will she run out of money before her life is over?  Who knows... we seem to create what we fear, so my guess is, she will die penniless.  Perhaps it would be the best thing for her.  The thing is, while she clings to what she has in fear of her future woes, her children muddle through their own very current woes unaided... sad.

Matthew 7:11 says, If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!" 

Hmmm, do we know how to give good gifts to our children?  In context Matthew 7:7-11 says this:

"Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him!"

The assumption there is that we know how to give good gifts to our children.  If my child asked me for bread.  I would buy bread.  It's true!  I would not buy a stone instead.  But in our society where we live only one generation at a time, we are more likely to miss the point.  If we do in this generation what has been done in the last three will there be any bread for our children?

I think it is important to know what a good gift is.  It might be a loaf of bread but perhaps it is land that is clean, rich and fertile that is ready for a strong crop of wheat to grow so that our children have something to bake into bread.

Maybe it's a clean ocean, one that has been fished with our children in mind.  Leaving all we can behind so that there will be fish for many generations to come.  

Perhaps this isn't the point.  Jesus is begging us to ask Him.  For what exactly?  Is this a carte blanche to ask and receive anything I want? Hmmm, I'm thinking of James 4:3 where it says,

"You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures."

Which pleasures?  Isn't eating bread also a pleasure? When are we withholding bad things and when are we withholding good things from our children? Does God withhold good things? Or... hmmm If God never withholds good things from His children... what are those good things?  Food?  Clothing?  or is it peace, hope, and rest?  

Why does He ask us to ask? to knock? to seek?I wonder if He is egging us on to ask for today's things... bread and fish.  Like the Lord's prayer, give us this day our daily bread.  I wonder... 

I know many who say, "ask for the big things"... great things like houses, wealth and prosperity.  But sometimes I feel more like a tiny bird... waiting for just the next morsel, perhaps He asking for something more intimate and personal.  Like the next bite... the next breath.  Maybe...


Monday, March 28, 2016

Random Kindness



I am on the road once again.  “Gypsy girl” they call me.  Oh well, it gives me new perspectives.  :)

I took the train to Chicago and then, after a layover, headed west.  There was an older lady getting on at my stop.  She had a huge suitcase, seemed almost as big as she was and she was struggling to get on the train.  I made way for her to go in front of me thinking that if I was behind her I could shield her from passengers being pushy from behind.  I asked if i could help her get her suitcase onto the train.  She studied me for a minute, awkwardly declined and then muscled her case into the luggage rack and headed upstairs to sit down.  I followed shortly afterward to find my own seat.  We both unloaded in Chicago and I again motioned for her to climb out in front of me so that I could define the pace for the people behind her.  This time she seemed very grateful for the  spot in line and lack of pressure getting off.  After getting off the train, she muscled that big ol’ suitcase all the way into the station and headed for a place in line to check her bag for the next leg of her trip.  When she did so she stopped and notice me and said, “well I guess I should let you get in front of me this time.”  

Isn’t it interesting how kindness is “catchy?”  Yes, I think cruelty is too, but think about what you might be doing by being kind.  What kind of an effect can you have on two, three people down the road?  What if this lady decides to pay it forward by being patient with the ticket counter clerk?  And what if the ticket counter clerk is kind to the baggage guy in response? And what if the baggage guy was super depressed and thinking about hurting himself?  Can one act of kindness save another’s life?  Does that seem a bit far fetched?  Well…  I remember a time when one act of kindness literally saved my life.  Maybe, just maybe it’s worth the effort?

Times have changed.  There is so much happening in our days that there isn’t sufficient time to process it all.  Who can even remember what it is like not to be stressed?  When was life carefree for you?  Has it ever been care free?  In the midst of that pressure, I think we have become a society that has forgotten how to “see” others and really care.  


There are two sides to that.  On the one side I just want to weep because of our cruelty to each other.  On the other, kindness is so rare that it has a big impact on those who receive it.  Try it, let me know what happens.

Thursday, March 10, 2016

Receiving what comes... being content.

We had an interesting time traveling this week.  We were scheduled to leave at 3:00pm and arrive at our destination around midnight.  It was a west to east flight with a connection in the middle.  We arrived early, almost two hours early, only to find out our plane was delayed.

When your flight is delayed it can be for a bunch of different reasons.  Weather is the most common. If your plane is late because of weather, it is your tough luck.  Whatever issues weather causes, you will have to take care of yourself.  But if it is mechanical, then this particular airline pampers you well.  They feed you dinner, maybe give you a night in a cushy motel room and buy your breakfast.

On this particular day, our airline host went the extra mile in every way.  They bought pizza and pop for everyone  (For those of us who need gluten free they gave vouchers for whatever we could find to eat in the airport).  They made motel reservations and had all our tickets and meal vouchers printed and ready when we finally landed in the first leg or our flight and couldn't go any further that day.

But, as we waited in line to get our motel room keys, I overheard several complaining about our treatment... really?  Who can predict a mechanical failure?  Who has extra multimillion dollar planes laying around to replace one that isn't functional?  What could they have done better?

Yes, it was a very long day.  but sometimes I think it is important to receive what comes.  Rather than reject it.  It is what it is... but more than that... it is an opportunity to look beyond ourselves and see the big picture.

Friday, March 4, 2016

Ephesians 5:14-16 well and 13

 For this reason it says,
"“Awake, sleeper,
And arise from the dead,
And Christ will shine on you.”
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil."

For this reason? What's the reason? Verse 13 says, "But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light." That's an interesting thing to say.  Everything that becomes visible is light?  What does that mean? (listening) 

I've had people quote passages like this and it sounded almost like the song "Santa Clause is coming to town" "He sees you when your sleeping, He knows when your awake, He knows if you've been bad or good so be good for heaven's sake"  Pretty scary guy wouldn't you say?  Especially since your biggest dreams coming true depend on this guy Santa thinking you are good!

That song says to me that the whole concept of Santa is very shame based.  But I wonder if we are putting Jesus in the same box.

Jesus says in Mark 10:18, Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone." That makes the Santa Clause proclamation even more ominous!  He knows when we've been bad or good and... well... it's never really "good"!  When I see Jesus as waiting around to see if I am "good enough"  or behaving even... I feel pretty hopeless.

But think of it on the other side.  "Everything that becomes visible is light"  Sweet!  You mean that if I reveal to you my ugly side.  It becomes light?  So is that light as in not dark?  or light as in not heavy?  Either way it's pretty cool!.  

I'm thinking the point is to move as close to the light as we can get.  That the exposure we all fear is a good thing and brings about more light.  Maybe expands the light?  I'm wondering if voluntary exposure by definition brings power to heal and escape the darkness?  Maybe eliminate the darkness which is what light does eh?  

Thursday, March 3, 2016

Awake, sleeper!

I just want to listen, hear from the LORD.  Be still it says, and know the LORD.  Be still... still.  It's not so easy.  When still before the LORD I hear, "Wake up!"  I'm thinking of that passage in Ephesians 5:14

Awake, sleeper,
And arise from the dead,
And Christ will shine on you.”"

It goes on in verse 15-16 to say

"Therefore [j]be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil."

Making the most of your time.  Hmmm, I think that is the call for the day for me.  Making the most of your time.  We are out of work.  I REALLY want a garden this year... I want to plant it and I want to harvest it.  That may seem a weird thing to say but we work contracts.  Most end in October... harvest time.  I spend a lot of time searching out the areas that we might end up in.  Too much time.  What can I do here... today?  How can I make the most of my time?

Today is doing some work for my family but it is also getting off the web and writing, seeking and listening instead.  God knows where we will end up.


Monday, February 29, 2016

Day Seven:

We spent most of the day driving north today.  At the beginning of the day it was 80 degrees… now it is back to 45… oh well, We spent the day mostly driving with a few small excursions.  We talked a lot of what we are to do next.  I am still full of compassion for the homeless.  I read an article about a city north of here that tried to allow parking zones for homeless to park unmolested.  The one and only taker for the project was a church in a smallish neighborhood on the east side.  It was supposed to be a quiet transaction between the city and the church.  Just a place for people to park.  There was cry of outrage.  People living close to the church fearing for their lives and property… funny the only person who was to park there was a young woman… and her children… 


I keep asking, God what are we to do?

Sunday, February 28, 2016

Day Six:

The ocean!  The Ocean!  I don’t know why it has such significance for me but to me there is nothing that screams louder of the existence of God.  He is expressed so clearly in the power of the waves and the vastness of the water I am surrounded by Him when I rush into it’s torrents.  Like the explanation of Aslan in the “Chronicles of Narnia” The sea is so not safe… but it is good.  It is big and strong and massive… and you can fight with the current or let it wash all over you.  So unpredictable as it rushes up and to you and dashes away.  I LOVE the ocean.  

I’m not sure what was significant about today.  We plunged into the waves.  Rested and relaxed.  In the camper next to us was a young boy who was clearly autistic.  He was verbal.  He asked for our names many times.  And we talked to mom.  She was very grateful that he had finally started talking!  Who cares if he repeats himself… a lot.  He was talking and starting to socialize with people around him.  It was a big deal.  


So many times we miss that fact that we are blessed.  We have a different picture of what being blessed is or should be.  We are in a van… with no idea where we are going to end up… but we have a van.  It runs.  We enjoy each other and we have a Father more vast than the ocean… and more overwhelming than it’s waves.

Day Five:

This post was not typed in caps but I can't seem to fix it AHHH sorry, I'm not trying to yell :(

Today I felt homeless, and at the same time very blessed.  Many people who are homeless come south for the winter.  Some towns are known to grow as much as thirty thousand in homeless populations each winter.  Just last night we were approached by three separate sets of people all homeless and sad.  Not counting the many at street corners.  They are all asking for cash, something to help them get from here to there.  I know, I know some are druggies working a very easy angle… but I have been homeless and sometimes, many times homelessness comes after a series of very unfortunate events.  Like a two income family that loses one income because of accident, illness, death, or divorce.  Then what?  One two months after the rent is not paid they are out on the streets and wondering what happened.

Last night we found a Walmart (which often allows overnight parking for people who are passing through). We settled for the night only to be notified by the security guard that this particular walmart doesn’t allow overnight parking.  We talked to the security guard for a while about options.  The problem? It is illegal to sleep in your car here.  Seriously?  Illegal to be homeless?  Well, not exactly.  It is illegal to have an asset of safety while homeless.  After hearing that it was illegal to sleep in our car, I did some searches.  One article was about a woman who slept on the street beside her car so that she wouldn’t be arrested.  Your kidding right?  Who is served by a law like that???  Good grief!

What kind of a world do we live in?  After people have lost everything and land in their car.  we arrest them simply because they are down and out and have no place to go.. impound their car and strip them of any remaining hope.  Can we really be that heartless???  I am thinking of the many women I've talked with who ended up in their car because they had to make the choice to run in order to protect their children.  What of them?  Do you arrest the mama simply because she is sleeping in her car?  take away her car and her children???  Who could write a law like that?  Who could carry it out? 

As I googled I found there were a few churches whose paring lots were "safe zones".  People were welcome to come to those churches and park in their parking lots without reprisal.  I suppose that should sooth my feathers but my reaction is WHAT??? Can't we invite them in?  But then again If I were homeless and a woman with children I would want to stay in the relative safety of my car.  I would also much rather pick the place I parked... especially if I was being hunted.

We had options, We found a campground.  I almost felt guilty taking that option but sometimes being conscientious objector just isn’t worth it.  Wondering what we can do to make a difference.  

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Day Four:

Another chilly night brrrr!  But just enough blankets to stave off the cold.  Funny way to travel.  We have a bunch of boxes of stuff on the floor of our van then a piece of plywood… then our precious mattress, very comfy.  But… feeling pretty homeless.

We took some time today to hike through the hills and just listen.       

We wanted to hear many things… where are we going?  How do we serve the LORD from here?  We just wanted to hear.  Mostly the impression we had was that we were headed in the right direction, and I heard a wake up call to listen up… and be ready… ready for what?


Later we spent the evening in worship and then chatting in a diner with a several people with passionate dreams.  Sweet fellowship is a beautiful thing!

Day Three:



Well we got further south today, it’s nice here in the day time but pretty nippy at night brrr!  It feels like every day there is a nugget to ponder.  Today we were asked by a friend, “What did God call us to… what is our vision?”  Does the direction we are headed in now point us toward that call or away from it? 

Hmmm, I ponder choices in terms of peace.  Like that passage that says, “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to the which also ye were called in one body; and be ye thankful.” Colossians 3:15  I tend to make tough decisions by sleeping on them and measuring my peace in the morning.  So, do I feel peace about the direction we are headed?  (listening) I feel peace with the direction we are headed but I do feel a nudge to become more intentional in moving toward a vision… 


I must admit that money always feels like a trap… more powerful than God somehow.  Moving forward toward our vision takes money…  God what about that?  (listening) … Hmmm  sometimes I wonder if He calls us to move our feet… before He parts the water.  (Joshua 3:13 And it shall come to pass, when the soles of the feet of the priests that bear the ark of Jehovah, the Lord of all the earth, shall rest in the waters of the Jordan, that the waters of the Jordan shall be cut off, even the waters that come down from above; and they shall stand in one heap.” ) (emphasis mine)

Friday, February 26, 2016

Day Two:



So late last evening our host shared a youtube clip by the piano guys called, “Beethoven’s 5 secrets” It’s starts with a quote attributed to Beethoven, “I Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into it’s secrets.  For it and knowledge  raise men to the Divine.” 

I think I would word that differently, but maybe not… Is the “art” that we practice actually our spiritual gift?  If so then this is so true!  I believe that the deep purpose of our gifts is to draw all those who witness us moving in them up to the Divine.  And whether your gift is some in the creative arts or in hospitality or whatever, perfecting your craft is a worthy pursuit isn’t it?  Aren’t there secrets to learn about how to move in who we are?  Not to get good at what we do… but to elevate… to touch the Divine.

That line gave me pause.  I struggle finding value in my “art”.  To me it is immature and sloppy.  In some ways I think I am barking up the wrong tree.  Calling one thing my “art” when it is really something totally different. Hmmm something to ponder

So this morning was interesting as well.  Our host for the night had left early.  We were packing to leave and he returned unexpectedly.  Not sure why, but God said, “listen up” and so I listened.

He was talking about business and how his company was taking a new approach.  They sought to choose the one thing that they did well… and to offer only that as their service.  That meant they were willing to say to their customers that they were not the right company for them.  They started booking only projects that were a good match to their skill set.  I know that only makes sense right?  But how many times do we try to turn ourselves into pretzels in order to accomplish what we are not good at?  


So God how does that relate to me?  It seems to reflect back to Beethoven’s quote, “Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into it’s secrets.”  But I don’t know exactly why.

Day One:



Today didn’t feel much like seeking God.  We got to the airplane way early this morning.  We left later than what I wanted.  I like to get to airport early but I wasn’t alone.  My son drove us to the airport.  He went “his way” even though it took longer because he thought it was “more straight forward”.  How can you object when he just got up a 5 in the morning simply to give his crazy parents a ride to the airport so they can go no where in particular for who knows how long?  

Hmmm I tried not to care, I tried not to be nervous… what’s the difference?  If we left on our flight or three flights later?  We would still get there!  It was an exercise in trust and not sweating the small stuff.  When we got to the airport it was crazy quiet.  In my mind it should have been one of the busiest times of the day to catch a flight… but there was literally no one in line.  I walked right up to the counter… no wait at all.  When does that happen?  We were 50 minutes from take off and no one was at the ticket counter.  We went up to security and there were literally two people in front of us.  Hmmm, I guess there is no place to wonder if God intends for us to seek Him.
The next question is how do we do this?  Today we picked up our camping equipment from the storage unit we rented to store our bare essentials from the last contract job site.  I have no idea when we will be back for the rest.  It needs to be soon… storage is way more expensive than the value of anything we have stored there.  We are ready…well mostly… tomorrow we can officially get started… at least by sometime tomorrow… God help me to even remember the questions I have… so far it’s still too crazy to think… slowing down is HARD!!! 

In looking at the scriptures today I am drawn to ponder John 8:31-32 “31 Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. 32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.””


Thursday, February 25, 2016

Seeking God

It has been a repeat of the last four years.  We get a contract in March.  My husband works hard until October then things dry up and we look for work until the following March.  Our pocket book is exhausted… we are exhausted and nothing short of depressed.  I called my husband on the phone one morning in February, still no word on work.  I’ve never heard him sound so depressed.  We talked about it later… after our daughter confided in me that she didn’t see the same relationship with God in us that we used to have… wow, that was honest!  We needed a change… it’s the north, it’s cold… we need to get out in God’s creation and hear from Him… so… we decided to go south… fly to where we had our car stored waiting for our next job possibility… then drive south to  any place warm enough to walk around and not freeze your buns off!  That’s it… our whole plan… go south, get warm and seek the Lord.  People have asked what our plans are… plans? plans?  I plan to sleep in our car, eat out of an ice chest, rest, hike, pray and hope God comes to speak to me.  Do we always have to have a plan?  We have nothing we need to do right now, who needs a plan?


(I can’t tell you how many people have asked for our “plan” I’m beginning to feel self conscious about it. Maybe our lives are too planned?)