Monday, January 6, 2014

More on Chaos

It's been a while since I have posted anything.  It has been a year like no other for me.  It is still my continuing battle to fight chaos but it feels like chaos is a huge adversary.  We started about a year ago to pack up our big house.  Our plan is to fix it up and sell it so that we could cut our expenses and thus our financial chaos.  It seemed like a simple goal.  But it has taken us a year and we are still working at it.  Oh well, one day at a time. 

We are recovering empty nesters.  I am not sure God ever intended us to be in this faze in life but here we are and I'm not sure what to do with myself.  I had been a homeschool mom for almost thirty years.  That's a long and wonderful time but perhaps it feels more quiet on account of the fact that my kids were always here before.. It's been over a year since my last one got married.  Now they all have babies of their own (one on the way!).  Grand babies are awesome but I don't like the part where you give them back.  I know most people do.. but I LOVE kids.  I love my kids. I love their kids... That's part of why we are working so hard to conquer the chaos.

Through all the years we raised our kids.  One thing always followed another and chaos was brushed aside as something we would address... someday.  There wasn't time for that.  I didn't have energy to face it... I was too busy.  Now that I have time I realize that it's time to face it.  I look at friends that I have that are older than me... they are too old and too tired to face the chaos.  Their kids know that they are going to be left to deal with it when my friends die.  I don't want to do that to my kids.  I want to deal with it now, while I can.  I want to trim down before it is really too much for me.  I want to gift my children with order.  Think I can?  One thing's for sure... I have the time to try.

The house is on the market, I pray for God's timing for a sale.  I have to keep remembering the value of timing.  It feels like I can just taste the day when I don't have to figure out how to make that house payment.  But I live in the north.  It is freaking cold outside right now.  I remember the first time I heard a radio announcer say it was going to warm up to freezing.  I thought it was a funny concept but if it warmed up to freezing today it would be almost forty degrees warmer than it is right now.  Brrrr! I am grateful that we didn't sell our house last month or we would be facing trying to move stuff in this weather.  God's timing is always the best! 

In the mean time, it is a good time to sit down, have a cup of tea, ponder and write, don't you think?

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