Day Three:

Well we got further south today, it’s nice here in the day time but pretty nippy at night brrr!  It feels like every day there is a nugget to ponder.  Today we were asked by a friend, “What did God call us to… what is our vision?”  Does the direction we are headed in now point us toward that call or away from it? 

Hmmm, I ponder choices in terms of peace.  Like that passage that says, “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to the which also ye were called in one body; and be ye thankful.” Colossians 3:15  I tend to make tough decisions by sleeping on them and measuring my peace in the morning.  So, do I feel peace about the direction we are headed?  (listening) I feel peace with the direction we are headed but I do feel a nudge to become more intentional in moving toward a vision… 

I must admit that money always feels like a trap… more powerful than God somehow.  Moving forward toward our vision takes money…  God what about that?  (listening) … Hmmm  sometimes I wonder if He calls us to move our feet… before He parts the water.  (Joshua 3:13 And it shall come to pass, when the soles of the feet of the priests that bear the ark of Jehovah, the Lord of all the earth, shall rest in the waters of the Jordan, that the waters of the Jordan shall be cut off, even the waters that come down from above; and they shall stand in one heap.” ) (emphasis mine)

Day Two:

So late last evening our host shared a youtube clip by the piano guys called, “Beethoven’s 5 secrets” It’s starts with a quote attributed to Beethoven, “I Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into it’s secrets.  For it and knowledge  raise men to the Divine.” 

I think I would word that differently, but maybe not… Is the “art” that we practice actually our spiritual gift?  If so then this is so true!  I believe that the deep purpose of our gifts is to draw all those who witness us moving in them up to the Divine.  And whether your gift is some in the creative arts or in hospitality or whatever, perfecting your craft is a worthy pursuit isn’t it?  Aren’t there secrets to learn about how to move in who we are?  Not to get good at what we do… but to elevate… to touch the Divine.

That line gave me pause.  I struggle finding value in my “art”.  To me it is immature and sloppy.  In some ways I think I am barking up the wrong tree.  Calling one thing my “art” when it is really something totally different. Hmmm something to ponder

So this morning was interesting as well.  Our host for the night had left early.  We were packing to leave and he returned unexpectedly.  Not sure why, but God said, “listen up” and so I listened.

He was talking about business and how his company was taking a new approach.  They sought to choose the one thing that they did well… and to offer only that as their service.  That meant they were willing to say to their customers that they were not the right company for them.  They started booking only projects that were a good match to their skill set.  I know that only makes sense right?  But how many times do we try to turn ourselves into pretzels in order to accomplish what we are not good at?  

So God how does that relate to me?  It seems to reflect back to Beethoven’s quote, “Don’t only practice your art, but force your way into it’s secrets.”  But I don’t know exactly why.

Day One:

Today didn’t feel much like seeking God.  We got to the airplane way early this morning.  We left later than what I wanted.  I like to get to airport early but I wasn’t alone.  My son drove us to the airport.  He went “his way” even though it took longer because he thought it was “more straight forward”.  How can you object when he just got up a 5 in the morning simply to give his crazy parents a ride to the airport so they can go no where in particular for who knows how long?  

Hmmm I tried not to care, I tried not to be nervous… what’s the difference?  If we left on our flight or three flights later?  We would still get there!  It was an exercise in trust and not sweating the small stuff.  When we got to the airport it was crazy quiet.  In my mind it should have been one of the busiest times of the day to catch a flight… but there was literally no one in line.  I walked right up to the counter… no wait at all.  When does that happen?  We were 50 minutes from take off and no one was at the ticket counter.  We went up to security and there were literally two people in front of us.  Hmmm, I guess there is no place to wonder if God intends for us to seek Him.

The next question is how do we do this?  Today we picked up our camping equipment from the storage unit we rented to store our bare essentials from the last contract job site.  I have no idea when we will be back for the rest.  It needs to be soon… storage is way more expensive than the value of anything we have stored there.  We are ready…well mostly… tomorrow we can officially get started… at least by sometime tomorrow… God help me to even remember the questions I have… so far it’s still too crazy to think… slowing down is HARD!!! 

In looking at the scriptures today I am drawn to ponder John 8:31-32 “31 Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. 32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.””

Seeking God

It has been a repeat of the last four years.  We get a contract in March.  My husband works hard until October then things dry up and we look for work until the following March.  Our pocket book is exhausted… we are exhausted and nothing short of depressed.  I called my husband on the phone one morning in February, still no word on work.  I’ve never heard him sound so depressed.  We talked about it later… after our daughter confided in me that she didn’t see the same relationship with God in us that we used to have… wow, that was honest!  We needed a change… it’s the north, it’s cold… we need to get out in God’s creation and hear from Him… so… we decided to go south… fly to where we had our car stored waiting for our next job possibility… then drive south to  any place warm enough to walk around and not freeze your buns off!  That’s it… our whole plan… go south, get warm and seek the Lord.  People have asked what our plans are… plans? plans?  I plan to sleep in our car, eat out of an ice chest, rest, hike, pray and hope God comes to speak to me.  Do we always have to have a plan?  We have nothing we need to do right now, who needs a plan?

(I can’t tell you how many people have asked for our “plan” I’m beginning to feel self conscious about it. Maybe our lives are too planned?)

Dreams

When kids, we dream,  I remember saying, "When I grow up I'm going to..." When does dreaming stop? Does it have to stop? I was watching a news report about a woman who just turned 110.  She talked of her friends and even their kids all dying before her but that she still kept in touch with the grand children and their children.  Wow, I listen to my folks now,  They often speak of those they knew who are now gone.  They are old and their friends are old.  They are losing mobility, what can they dream of now?

I have a friend who is 86.  She talks of all her friends dying off.  Is it hard to dream then?  Who can you dream with? I used help cook at a summer camp in Montana.  That was many years ago now.  The sessions I cooked for were called Golden year camps.  You had to be 55 or older to go.  The camps were so popular that they had two of them back to back.  They loved to sing the old songs that they all seemed to know by heart.  I enjoyed listening to them sing, talk and dream.  Yes, they were dreaming.  And they were singing about their dreams.  They were dreaming of home.  They sang songs like, "I'll stay in the garden with Him" and "The trump shall resound and the LORD shall descend.  Praise the LORD! Praise the Lord oh, my soul."  They were all looking forward to something awesome. This wasn't a group of old farts complaining about their many pains... This was a group of faithful old soldiers who were nearing the end of the fight. They were looking forward to leaving this world and moving to a better country. I learned so much from these people. (smile)

Don't get me wrong, I'm not in a hurry. But I think that if we forget where we are going, we will be very dissatisfied with where we are.  Who wouldn't be?  This place is a wreck!  People can be so mean and hurtful, they can be so lost and confused. I want to do what I can here.  I want to leave some kind of mark on every day that I am here.  I would like to give hope to all I can.  I would like to grasp hope and hold on with all I have.  But at the end of the day?  I want to go home.  There is so much more yet to come.  Then we will truly grow up.  Don't you just wonder what we will be!

Adventure

I've been thinking about our lives.  We have sort of been caught in this rut of needing to make money so we can pay bills and buy food so that we can eat and sleep so that we can make more money.  It's sucks!  We talked about our loss of adventure... our loss of contemplation and quiet time.  It time for a change!  The biggest thing that seems missing is adventure.  I mean if you are in a rut what do you have to think about?  What can you contemplate?  Why plead to God and for what?  Ruts are nasty in that the numb the soul into complacency.  I have a picture of that snake in Disney's jungle book singing Trust in me.... just in me.  There is so much of life to experience and revel in but we are so distracted.

We tend to encapsulate ourselves in hopes of avoiding pain.  My husband and I have fought that all our lives trying to take the road less safe... less traveled and more adventurous.  But somewhere we found an easier path and took it... It's time to turn back and find the better path.

Why wouldn't the better path be the one most risky? 

Learning to look

An Act of kindness… 

Over and over it seems I am the one on the receiving end of kindness instead of the giving end.  Open my eyes LORD! The other day my husband and I went to play a game of racquet ball.  We haven’t played in a long time which explains why, though we packed most of what we needed to play, we forgot to bring a game essential… racquet balls. 

How frustrating!  The courts were far enough away from home that going home to retrieve a ball and returning to play was out of the question.  As I was wandering around the facility looking for options a man noticed I had a dilemma and gave me a ball…  He didn’t loan me a ball, or sell me one.  He just gave me a ball. Sweet guy!

The thing I find inspiring about him is simply that he noticed I was in need.  I wonder... if I were in his shoes, would I have noticed? I feel embarrassed admitting it but I don't think I would have.  I would have been too locked on to my target... sad.

I think the more pain we are in or maybe the more we numb our pain with distractions, the more we lack the capacity to see.  Today, I am taking a break from my usual distractions maybe it will help.

God help me see!