Today was a war. I spent much of the day in battle in prayer. Sometimes life feels like playing chess... We have a crafty enemy who knows what every piece is capable of. Sometimes it's hard to know the best move and so much is at stake.
The name of the game today was Boundaries. Boundaries are the things that define where I end and you begin. Boundaries are a huge part of grace. Boundaries are the gift of respect and honor. If I have good boundaries, I will see you... really see you. Because you are far enough apart from me that I can see the difference. If I don't have good boundaries you will be so buried in me that I won't see you at all.
All that said, Holding boundaries is exhausting, and lonely and I am tired. I feel like a piece of swiss cheese. Yes, I stood up to the onslaught of boundary crushing shrapnel that came careening in my direction today, but not without some bloody wounds. I can relate to the picture Paul paints in Ephesians 6:16 "above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one." I wonder exactly what that looks like. What kind of faith quenches what kind of darts? Having my boundaries crossed feels like daggers to me. God I'm not so sure how faith can shield me from that. (listening) The picture I have is of being faithful to God in keeping His place His. His place in my life and His place in yours. Hmmm that makes sense.
Helpful reminder's Ruth Ann, Thank you.
ReplyDeleteYour question, "What kind of faith quenches what kind of darts?", and your answer, "being faithful to God in keeping His place His. His place in my life and His place in yours.."..truly does make alot of sense. In fact, any other way seems seriously even more painful in the long run. I really don't want to go back to pleasing others and living in the shadow of their control, over creating safe boundaries and living in the light, and I mean bright shiny hope giving Living God light. It is so exciting to live in the very presence of Jesus, who is always right there and available to give us direction. I am so wanting more and more of his building up and his life giving direction.
Today, well it was a boundary day for me to. It could have been a bad day, as I was at a goodbye party for a friend who has the same friends that I did during my hard times with leadership at a particular place and situation. But, it wasn't! It was a blessed event. I was there to celebrate and send off a good friend, and the feelings of control and belittling and people pleasing was GONE!! I did feel a bit like an outsider because I am no longer in a certain loop (praise God, lol), but that is fine, because I have Jesus, and he knows what that felt like, and it is ok. What a great adventure we have ahead Ruth Ann, it is soooo exciting to be in the care and service of a God who knows our every need!