God's art, building trust, late season frosts

I was out in God's art today (outside).  Spring is just starting to bring a little green to the drab winter landscape.  It has been brutally cold here.  it's not that unusual to be in the low 20's in late April here but after a long warm spell, it was a shock to my plants as well as my own system.  It's COLD out there!  My plum and peach tree blossoms will not recover.  There will be no fruit on them this year.  Even my tulips were bowed low to the ground this morning only to pop back up when the sun grew warm.

It's interesting to see.  I have learned that though the blossoms may still be pretty, if you look deep into the flowers, you can tell that they have been made impotent by the frost.  I wish I could see people in the same way.  Are they still fragrant and ready to bear sweet, juicy fruit, or is something in the depths of them frozen beyond redemption (at least by natural means).  

The truth is, it's not my job to know.  It's my job to scatter the seed, to love with abandon, and offer redemption to any who will hear.  But the world is so frightening now.  If I was afraid to speak of heavenly things years ago, what help is there now for me?  (Listening)  The picture I have is of Steven in Acts 7.  I used to think of myself as a failure because I couldn't imagine myself having the Steven's boldness to continue telling the truth in spite of the threat of stoning.  Steven was already caught up and moving closer and closer to heaven.  He didn't even noticed the stones.  He was too excited by his visions of where he was going.  He was trying so hard to share his vision with those who stoned him to death.  But they could not hear him.  I realized that Steven was given the power in that moment to stand and to speak boldly.  All he needed to be was willing.  

Ah, there's the rub.  Am I willing?  What is it to trust God anyway?  What am I trusting Him for?  What does He promise?  Well, He didn't promise that I would avoid pain or suffering.  That's hard for my "civilized' heart to understand but Hebrew 5:8 says, "though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered"  Jesus said, "Follow me" I'm pretty sure He knew that suffering was involved.  So is suffering to help us learn obedience?  And if so, ultimately is suffering a trust building exercise?  Do we too learn obedience by the things that we suffer?  And do we learn to lean into Him in the process?

What are your thoughts?