What is out of reach?

Last year, 2020, the year when time stood still and we all stayed at home... alone. It was not our best year financially.  We recently filed our income taxes.  Last year our income fell well below poverty level.  I know that we are not alone.  We as a country, and others all over the world suffered.  It was a year we all will remember.  History will be marked by it.  There will be things before covid, and things after covid.  Hmmm will there be an "after covid?"  

I want to be one who leans into Jesus when times are tough.  I want to trust Him for the things we need and rest in Him for the things we want.  But in reality, I have to work at that.  It's not always easy to choose to trust rather than worry.  I'm not concerned for my next meal.  It is already in the fridge.  So what frightens me?  Why do I need to know how my Abba Father will choose to bless me.  Isn't it enough to know that He will?  I do know that I am blessed.  But I also know that suffering can be God's best for me sometimes.  It is our training ground.

I do believe that there are harder times ahead.  Lord help me practice now.  Help me to know that you are in control, that you love your children and that you will not leave them starving.  Help us always to accept your gift with joy... even if it is not what we had in mind.

Lord, I find myself chasing rainbows, things that always seem just beyond my finger tips.  But if I deeply look at what I am grasping for... they are exactly that... rainbows, a trick of the light, mists and reflections, nothing of substance..  Psalms 63:1 says this, "O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You In a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water."

Covid is a wake up call.  Wake up O my soul... seek after the only thing that will satisfy.