I have a choice. Do you know how amazing that is? I believe the whole story from creation to crucifixion is God’s excruciating and yet gracious act of giving choice. God offers choice instead of control. That is huge! Here I am small and in comparison insignificant and yet I often cling to the illusion that I can control my world I’ve paid a high price for other’s choices. Others have paid a high price for mine. Control seems much safer… doesn’t it? Many times I have screamed at God in my anger, “Why didn’t you intervene?” But what good is relationship if there is no choice in the midst of it? Complicated questions… I do wish for an end to the pain and cruelty in the world but today I am glad that I have a choice.
Today I have a choice, not so much about how I feel as how I choose to respond to how I feel. I am a very passionate person. I feel a LOT all the time. I feel muddled, confused, protective, frustrated, weary, sad, discouraged you name it. Sometimes I feel down right PISSED! It is a temptation for me to bounce from one extreme to another passionately something all the time. It can be exhausting not just for me but also for those around me. *sigh*