What is Forgiveness?

Have you ever been betrayed?  I don't mean the kind of betrayal where you simply shake your head and walk away disgusted. I mean the kind of betrayal that knocks you down and leaves you writhing on the floor.  Sometimes trust is irrevocably broken.  Sometimes it can't be fixed.  Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, the scene plays over and over in our heads and we are powerless to stop it.

What then?  How can we move forward?  And how can we stop the pain?  If you have tasted this kind of pain, I can relate and I am so very sorry.  I get it, it's like eating an unquenchable fire.  Betrayal SUCKS!  And for what seems like an eternity, moving forward is hard.   For a long time, it takes work just to breathe in and breathe out.  And NO!  Time does NOT heal all wounds!  Nor should it.  

Pain is a gift from the Lord.  It is intended for our protection.   In our physical bodies pain is there to tell us to take care.  If we broke a leg but felt no pain,  how would we know to seek medical attention?

Emotional pain is also there to help.  Without pain how would we ever move forward out of the unhealthy into something more sane?  It helps us to make changes and become more than we are.  Pain gives us the choice to become bitter or better, gracious or ugly.  What will we choose?  And how can we choose well?

I have been told many times that forgiveness is the key to moving forward, and yes, that's true but...  I wonder if forgiveness may be the destination and yet there is no way to arrive without first taking the journey.  I find many who are trying their hardest to forgive without ever allowing themselves to feel hurt.  For some it's simply not ok to be angry.  It's almost as if we believe that anger in itself is sinful.  Yet Ephesians 4:6 commands us, "Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger," 

I believe that forgiveness is humanly impossible.  We keep trying with our own might to forgive but forgiveness never really comes until we seek the LORD for a new heart and a new perspective.  Sitting on the side of the LORD'S perspective, we see both our own deep pain and the pain of those who have betrayed us.  We see a God of justice and we can not help but cry out "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing"