Wednesday, April 20, 2011

In spite of winter, summer is coming

We had a whopper of a storm here last night. I lost power and cable in the midst of deafening cracks, booms and streaks of light. How can you have a thunderstorm when it’s only 35 degrees outside? Even though Easter is less than a week away it feels like winter brrrrr! We had over 3 inches of snow a few days ago.

As winter lingers and spring waits to let loose I find it difficult to figure out what to do with myself. Should I plant more in my garden? Well, when? It’s too dang cold outside to think about digging, not to mention wet. There is nothing to do around here but build another fire and wait in expectation of warmth.

Sometimes I think that is true spiritually as well. It was a long process for God to teach me that He is good… always good. Nothing that happens is outside of His control and in spite of that, He is good.

Sometimes when I fear that He might not be in control…or good, I try to make peace and safety happen. I don’t like conflict or uncertainty. I don’t like that place between winter and spring. It’s cold and wet and icky, the few hints of summer’s return are smothered in drizzle or wet sloppy snow. It feels like summer will never come. Sometimes in deep conflict or terrifying uncertainty it feels the same… or worse. Like the warmth of love in relationship will never return or like any hint of good things are smothered in something cold.

But, I expect summer to peek around the corner any day. I have planted seeds in expectation of it. I have let my wood pile dwindle feeling certain I have months before I will need to replenish it. As I have learned that God is good my uncertainty in relationships is less catastrophic. Though I can’t predict another’s response, in one sense it doesn’t matter. I can know that summer will again come. … I am anchored in the one who will carry me through.

So as I look out at the drizzly sky, I am praising God today just for the expectation of summer, warmth, and grace.

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