Monday, May 2, 2011

The accusation wedge

I’m thinking again about accusations and how they can kill relationship. The word “Satan” means “the accuser”. More accurately it is one who uses accusation as a wedge to divide. That makes total sense to me because accusations do just that. They drive a wedge between two people or between a person and their God. Accusations destroy intimacy… period. Once spoken, they are terribly hard to intercept and destroy.

Think about it. Suppose someone accused you of being a chatterbox, would you be willing to talk freely in their presence? What if someone accused you of lying? Would you ever trust that person to know your heart? The fact is accusations drive a permanent wedge, relationship can not be repaired unless the accusation is addressed. You can not mend the relationship by ignoring the accusation… you can only fake it.

Sometimes accusations are framed in scary ways. I once had a friend forgive me for terrible acts of treachery that I would never do. She was very sincere but the premise was a horrible accusation. Her “forgiveness” meant nothing to me… except as a knife to stab and twist at my heart. I trusted her as a friend to know me… Her accusation still stands between us. I can’t begin to explain the pain that one act of “forgiveness” brought me. She now relates only to the picture she has painted of me… and I am not what she sees.

As I think of accusations I am reminded of Romans 2:1 “Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things.” I think we imagine in another what we would do in the same situation. So we accuse people of what we ourselves would do. Accusations are warning signs to bring intersection. Listen to what you say… search for the source.

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