Saturday, February 19, 2011

Day 13: Bringing Life to Order (desire, choice and soap nuts)

This thread starts on February 7th

I did it, I did it, I did it! I filled out all those terrible forms and delivered them on time with 5 hours to spare! W00t, w00t!. Some things just need to be celebrated. :)

Oh btw, I have a verdict on the soup nuts. They seem to do a good job over all. I washed a table cloth with carbon dust on it (you had to be there) and all the black came out but there was a small oily spot on the same tablecloth that didn’t. I can see the need for treating spots but overall I was impressed.

I am grateful today is Saturday. I really want to rest today. It has been a busy week of personal battles and ministry. Sometimes it’s important for me to process the “stuff” that God did while offering ministry to people. Sometimes God taps me on the shoulder and says, “listen up! What you are about to hear is for you too”… hmmm. Sometimes while witnessing both the damage in others and God’s huge grace and healing I am also changed. (did I say sometimes?) I like that.

Someone asked me that question again this week… I am asked this question over and over again and I have pondered it myself in years past. It’s in reference to women trapped in domestically violent relationships. People constantly ask me, sometimes with obvious contempt, “Why doesn’t she leave?” It hits me like a punch in the stomach sometimes…

My answer, “because she is a woman of integrity.” Women stay because they made a promise and with all their hearts they want to keep that promise. They stay because they love their kids more than their own safety. They stay because if they leave, there is no guarantee that their children will be protected, fed, clothed and warm. They stay because they know it is safer for them and for their loved ones if they stay than if they leave (that’s true! Google it and see for yourself). The bottom line, that’s the wrong question. The question is why do we put it on the women to solve the problem? Why is it her responsibility to fix the situation? If she leaves someone else will take her place and the damage will continue. In all the time I have been working with hurting women, I have never been asked, “Why doesn’t he stop beating her?” I really want to know the answer to that question cause if we could get at the root of the violence… the real problem would be addressed.

I talked with many people about desire and choice this week and God said, “listen up” Hmmm, there is a passage in scripture that says, Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4). I believe that means he will give you the hunger in your heart… not the stuff that you want. If we delight in the LORD our passion and desires are from Him, which says to me that what we want can be a holy thing. I have always heard about my desires in the context of my “sinful desires”. There certainly are sinful desires but there is a law of physics described here, an if, then statement. If you delight in the LORD, then your desires are made holy. Perhaps the catch word is delight. You can’t fake delight, I like to use that word instead of “love” which has lost it’s meaning in a world that “loves” just about everything from fried chicken to a person you have only had sexual relations with. I don’t hear many people say they are delighted in chicken. But it still means something to say this is my child in whom I am delighted! So, that smacks me with the realization that I have been too busy this week to really delight in God. And that sucks because it was beautiful outside this week. Bright and sunny and warm, all of which doesn’t happen here in February. I missed it. I’m sorry God, thanks for the wake up call. It is still beautiful outside today. :) It is stretching me to imagine that what I ‘want” might be exactly what God wants me to want.

Hmmm Then there is the deal about choice. I believe that God is a God of choice. He is always a gentleman, he stands at the door and knocks and waits for us to choose whether we will open the door or not. He created Adam with the ability to choose life or sin. So, that trapped feeling, yeah, it’s not from God even if it feels like I HAVE to do something in order to obey Him. Hmmm I know there is more here that I am not getting. (So God what am I supposed to see in there?). All I hear is “listen up” like be alert and listening expectantly. Ok so I’m listening.

Yesterday's report:

1) (business meeting with God) My day started early yesterday and my time with God was short…

2) (blog) yep

3) (Act of Random Kindness) I checked in on a friend who is immobile right now. She blessed me….

4) (Clean something) I did my house is still in order

5) (Order something) Finishing all those forms and getting them in definitely counts!

6) (Book) nope

7) (Family) I did

8) (Me) hmmm

9) (Ministry) day off yesterday

10) (rest) nope

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