Friday, February 18, 2011

Day 12: Bringing Life to Order (Reality Check)

This thread starts on February 7th

The last two weeks I have been doing this my husband has been out of town. That is hard for me. I feel like I am learning what it is like to be a widow… That thought panics me. My brain doesn’t even want to go there! But, on the flip side it is giving me opportunity to practice order without someone else’s stuff bumping against mine.

Yesterday I had the gang over to celebrate my son’s birthday. I found myself at a loss. It doesn’t take long to forget how to cook! I did end up with a delicious soup (I finally landed on making “dump soup” which is taking soup stock and dumping everything vege you have left in the fridge into it), gingerbread and a huge mess in the kitchen…. Well; maybe not that huge and I had lots of help cleaning it up but it let me know that my new found sense of order is pretty fragile and I am only taking on half of my assignment which is overwhelming enough. One puff of wind and it will blow over. God what about that? (I have a sense, kind of a reminder that we are working on brain development here which takes time…. lots of time.) I’m not sure I’m satisfied with that answer. At what point will it feel like I am actually making progress and not just managing better? (The sense I have is that being around order is progress. Just to be able to rest my eyes on something that isn’t chaotic is progress. One day in a week of order is still a day of brain development) Hmmm, I’m feeling impatient this morning!

Yesterday's report:

1) (business meeting with God) I woke up feeling chaotic and overwhelmed yesterday. I took time to ask God what to do and how and He helped me pick my menu for the “party” which was a MUCH simpler menu than I would have picked. :)

2) (blog) 11 days of consistency is a miracle!

3) (Act of Random Kindness) still working on this

4) (Clean something) I cleaned my house which didn’t need much

5) (Order something) I filled out all the tax forms and other forms I faced the dragon last night w00t! Last minute like, today is the deadline.

6) (Book) nothing

7) (Family)party

8) (Me) hmmm

9) (Ministry) yup

10) (rest) got forms done instead does that count? Probably not ) *sigh*

1 comment:

  1. I know the sense of fragility. But I also have seen how the strength produced by it: each time the wind blows and rocks your order, even capsizes it, when you stand back up, put order back together, the strength and stability of your order is increased....incrementally and minusculely (sp?) at first....but it does increase.