Today I plan on getting up and bringing my house back to order. But my mind is full of dreams and at the same time swimming in self doubt. Can I do anything that will actually succeed? What if I start and don’t finish what does that make me? How do I even begin? You know if you want to do anything in this culture you must first conquer formaphobia.
Then you have to wonder what “success” really is. I want to make a BIG impact but I hear that passage rumbling around in my head “For who has despised the day of small things?” (Zachariah 4:10a) But God… we have a small amount of resources, especially in the “order” department. I want to step “out there” but today I feel so inadequate and scared. I must be tired today eh?
In Matthew 9:35 and 36 it says, “Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd.” (oh and people seem more weary and scattered now than ever before certainly ever in my life time) Jesus says in conclusion that the harvest is great but the workers are few therefore, pray… He doesn’t say go out there are fix it. It says pray, pray to the LORD of the harvest to send workers. Ok God, I’m praying. I’m praying for vision that comes with well marked steps, step one, step two, step three… (listening) hmmm the sense I have is that is what our meetings are for. That He is giving me step one, step two, step three, what I have been given to do like today… (mostly rest from the hugely busy weekend) doesn’t seem very productive) (listening) the only sense I have is of God having a smirk on His face… Like He knows something I don’t know. *smile*
1) (business meeting with God) Yesterday was another very busy day I lost my fragile order in the business.
2) (blog) I did eek out a blog
3) (Act of Random Kindness) can sending a txt which said to someone I feel their violation count? (wrong question I know Grrr!)
4) (Clean something) I did some dishes but my house is a pile
5) (Order something) ?
6) (Book) Well I did blog and someone from Singapore viewed my page w00t!
7) (Family) lots of family time
8) (Me) family time was good for me
9) (Ministry) ?
10) (rest) Not nearly enough yesterday…