Honoring Afghanistan

 My heart weeps tonight as so many people have been treated with so much disregard.  There is no one who is expendable.  How are we not willing to pay a price to offer rescue?  I don't want to get into the politics of a 20 year war.  I don't disagree with ending it.  But I believe with all my heart that everyone who had skin in this war needs to feel our earnest gratitude for the price they have paid.  We need to honor the gift of aid from the Afghan people with aid in return.  We need to let our Christian brethren in Afghanistan know that we hear their plight and we are earnestly lifting them up in our prayers!  The wolves have come and we have left many to them.  Oh God defend those that we have not defended.  How can we now ask for Your mercy when we have not offered any?

God have mercy on all who are suffering tonight.  Honor those who have served selflessly.  Please help us not turn our faces away from the pain but to stand up for the vulnerable.  That is who we are, that is what we do... what marine can live with himself if he were to leave even one man behind?  God comfort the comfortless tonight and bring rescue!

Is America Babylon?

I recently was watching a random video on YouTube when it was interrupted by a commercial.  I was a little bit stunned by a YouTube commercial with a religious theme so I took a minute to hear what the man had to say.  

I have reservations when listening to a modern day "prophet".  There are some who are truly speaking God's message but my bar is high.  I do expect a 100 percent accuracy rate 100 ;recent of the time.  Else, what of his words are we to listen to?.  So I listened to this man with reservation.

He talked of America being the Babylon that is mentioned in the book of Revelation.  He gave many compelling arguments and I have been set to pondering.  I had been taught that the United States is not mentioned anywhere in scripture and it didn't seem to be, when I formed my opinion.  But times have changed and I was taken aback when he mentioned how we, in America have become the instigators of so much  evil.  That is true!  God forgive us!

It's not just our policies... it's our money.  Our money, is the money that drives the human trafficking trade, the illegal weapons trade, the drug trafficking trade.  We... our money drives the use of children in factories in other parts of the world and the crushing of the sprits of many more.  We have become global consumers without taking note of the effect we are ultimately having.

"And another angel followed, saying, “Babylon[a] is fallen, is fallen, that great city, because she has made all nations drink of the wine of the wrath of her fornication.”" Revelation 14:8  

What do you think? 

Peace... be still...

Have you ever had a day like that day on the lake?   

"On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let’s go over to the other side.” Leaving the multitude, they took him with them, even as he was, in the boat. Other small boats were also with him. A big wind storm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so much that the boat was already filled. He himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion, and they woke him up, and told him, “Teacher, don’t you care that we are dying?”

He awoke, and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” The wind ceased, and there was a great calm. He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? How is it that you have no faith?”

They were greatly afraid, and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”  Mark:35-41

It was one of those days when everything was going wrong, but the guy you really wanted sympathy from, didn't even notice there was a problem!  Fear is a great and terrible force.  It motivates us to make all kinds of decisions.  Decisions we will most likely regret when we come back to our senses.

Our one weapon against fear is the knowledge of who Jesus really is, who we are in relation to him... and the power he possesses.  Can you imagine?  One minute your are in a panic!  The next... you find out who Jesus really is and all you can do is worship.

Love is patient... and kind

John 13:25 "By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  We used to sing a song, the chorus is simply, "they will know we are Christians by our love, by our love.  

There was a day when I could no longer in good conscience sing that song.  Will they know we are Christians by our love?  What does that look like?  How do we love one another?  I mean in a way that would be noticed as different and noteworthy?

I know for me, I have been most touched when I have experienced kindness.  I remember a day when a woman sat down with me and asked, I mean really asked me to tell my story.  I started at the top, describing all the mistakes and mishaps that had brought me to a more real and vibrant relationship with my God.  I noticed, as I was describing a particularly painful part of my story a small tear making it's way down her cheek.  It touched me... deeply.  At that point in my life, I don't remember anyone ever having compassion for my pain.  I felt cared for, maybe mothered.  

That one moment of kindness and compassion still effects me today.  Even now I marvel that she took the time.  That she listened with her heart engaged and wept with me.  It takes patience... the ability to give up your time to actively listen.  It takes time.  But more than anything it is a choice to be kind

Oswald Chambers- My Utmost for His Highest June 25

I have a friend who has lost herself in the sorrow of losing a child.  It is hard to watch.  I know what it is like to lose your moorings.  It is tough to breathe much less move forward.  But what Oswald Chambers has written is so true!  Sorrow has the potential to tenderize our hearts or harden them.  It is our choice.   I am thinking of Psalms 22:24 "For he has not despised nor abhorred the affliction of the afflicted,
    Neither has he hidden his face from him;  but when he cried to him, he heard."  That doesn't mean God will stop the pain.  Pain has purpose, like a mother who allows a doctor to stitch up her child's wound... God hears and understand our cries... and cares

Receiving Yourself in the Fires of Sorrow

…what shall I say? “Father, save Me from this hour”? But for this purpose I came to this hour. “Father, glorify Your name.” —John 12:27-28

As a saint of God, my attitude toward sorrow and difficulty should not be to ask that they be prevented, but to ask that God protect me so that I may remain what He created me to be, in spite of all my fires of sorrow. Our Lord received Himself, accepting His position and realizing His purpose, in the midst of the fire of sorrow. He was saved not from the hour, but out of the hour.

We say that there ought to be no sorrow, but there is sorrow, and we have to accept and receive ourselves in its fires. If we try to evade sorrow, refusing to deal with it, we are foolish. Sorrow is one of the biggest facts in life, and there is no use in saying it should not be. Sin, sorrow, and suffering are, and it is not for us to say that God has made a mistake in allowing them.

Sorrow removes a great deal of a person’s shallowness, but it does not always make that person better. Suffering either gives me to myself or it destroys me. You cannot find or receive yourself through success, because you lose your head over pride. And you cannot receive yourself through the monotony of your daily life, because you give in to complaining. The only way to find yourself is in the fires of sorrow. Why it should be this way is immaterial. The fact is that it is true in the Scriptures and in human experience. You can always recognize who has been through the fires of sorrow and received himself, and you know that you can go to him in your moment of trouble and find that he has plenty of time for you. But if a person has not been through the fires of sorrow, he is apt to be contemptuous, having no respect or time for you, only turning you away. If you will receive yourself in the fires of sorrow, God will make you nourishment for other people.

Racoon 1- Chickens 1 taking stalk of your surroundings

 I have recently acquired a "chicken door".  Our delivery man was very curious when my box arrived.  The label said, "Ladies first chicken door."  He couldn't imagine what that could mean.  I assured him it was what it said... a door for chickens.  He had never heard of such a thing.

It's sort of like a doggy door only it opens by itself at dawn and closes at dusk which eliminates your need to be out there to tuck your birds in at night. and keeps them safe from predators that stalk the coop at night.    Well, mostly.  I had one bird who was a bit of a night owl.  She would not go in before the door closed and if we didn't find her, scoop hr up and slip her in, then she was out all night fending for herself.  The thing is.  She was not a very bright bird and would just sit by the coop on the ground all night with no attempt to protect herself.  It was on one of those nights when we lost our bird to a visiting raccoon.  It wasn't much of a trick for him to catch her,  she was literally a sitting duck! (well, chicken)

Today we finally caught the raccoon that has been terrorizing my chicken coop.   He was the biggest raccoon I have ever seen!  He probably got that big by eating so many of our chicken eggs...  and our crazy chicken.  

There are many things that catch me off guard.  I am beginning to wonder if I, like that chicken have forgotten that there are dangers lurking.  That I have a God in heaven whom I serve and an enemy that wants to find opportunity to catch me unaware.  Hmmm

I'm thinking  of Luke 12:35 - 40

“Let your waist be girded and your lamps burning; and you yourselves be like men who wait for their master, when he will return from the wedding, that when he comes and knocks they may open to him immediately. Blessed are those servants whom the master, when he comes, will find watching. Assuredly, I say to you that he will gird himself and have them sit down to eat, and will come and serve them. And if he should come in the second watch, or come in the third watch, and find them so, blessed are those servants. But know this, that if the master of the house had known what hour the thief would come, he would have watched and not allowed his house to be broken into. Therefore you also be ready, for the Son of Man is coming at an hour you do not expect.”

The Chosen

 I have been watching the tv series called, "The Chosen".   When I watch, I am amazed at all the things I have never thought about.  It's clear from the scriptures that Jesus traveled about from place to place.  But, where did he sleep?  Where did the disciples sleep?  Did they get along?  Did they know each other before?  What was Jesus able to just say, "follow me!" and the disciples do it?  What was happening in their lives before they left everything.  The tv series called, "The Chosen" can't really answer those questions but it does offer suggestions as to how things might have been.  The thing that stand out to me is how much Jesus was different from His peers, how much ths life stuck out like a sore thumb.  We get a bit of a clue that he was radical in his beliefs and the ractice of His faith. 

There is a line in the show,  Jesus is asking Matthew to follow Him and Simon Petter steps in and tries to explain that Matthew was a tax collector.  He was different, because he betrayed his own people.  Jesus turns to Peter and says, "Get used to different"  I wonder, if Jesus came today, would we choke on His teachings?  Or, would we be so attracted to the truth He was giving that we could not make any other choice but to follow Him.

Peter and the Waves... and fear

I grew up around boats.  In my teenage years, I helped crew a boat through the Queen Anne straight and up through the San Juan Islands along the western coast of Canada.  Through the islands, the water was calm but there were a few crossings where we met with the open sea where waves were more than thirty feet high.  That meant that we road a wave way up to the peak, and then we were swallowed up, completely surrounded by water on all sides as we sank into the valley between waves.  As a child, I was fascinated but as an experienced seaman, my grandfather was in earnest of crossing the straight safely.  

Because of my experience, I have a different picture of Jesus and Peter out on the Sea of Galilee.  I can see Peter losing sight of Jesus and only being able to see walls of water all around him.  We sometimes fault Peter for having so little faith. But if you were in his shoes, a well seasoned fisherman who knows the dangers well, perhaps his fear would make more sense.  

Fear... isn't that what separates us from everything good?  I don't mean the kind of fear that teaches you not to get too close to a snake or a cliff.  That is respect... not fear.  Fear is irrational... and unreasonable.   Paul calls it "the spirit of fear" (2 Timothy 1:7).  He describes us as being in bondage to it (Romans 8:15).  Fear is the enemy.  If you want to know Satan's agenda for you... consider your deepest fears.  He is driving you by them... driving you away from God's call in your life.  Driving you from the good and towards what is evil.  Fear is like a cattle prod, it's very effective and evil at it's core.  

This is why we are called to take courage.  Like in 1 Chronicles 22:13 "Be strong and of good courage; do not fear nor be dismayed."  Because fear will drive you away from God.

When evil reigns

I was reading in Psalms 110 and wondered.  It feels like a promise of death and destruction and I wondered, "How is this about a loving God full of mercies?  I wonder if many of the psalms of David are a yearning for justice.  I remember a time when I longed for justice.  My life was in the crosshairs of a man who needed to be more powerful than hmmm... me maybe?... or God?.  I pleaded to God for justice... but in this life, justice will not come.  

 Proverbs 28:5  says, "Evil men do not understand justice" Has there ever been a time when that was more true than now?  Actually, as I think about it, yes, there has been.  Many times oppressors have come and invaded land and crushed people.  People groan under the power of evil.  

I wonder, what is the goal of evil?  Is it only about bringing chaos or is there a deeper agenda?  I wonder if the end goal is to cause us all to lose our courage?  I find it interesting that in Revelations 21:8 ("But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.”) cowardice is mentioned in the same list with the murderers and sexually immoral.  That can certainly put me in my place.

Satan is subtle if nothing else isn't he?  We can look so "good" on the outside but if fear is ruling our decisions... we are in deeper trouble than we think!  

So where do we turn?  And what do we do?  Listening... I am reminded of Peter in Matthew 14:22-33  when Peter climbed out of the boat to walk on the water with Jesus.  At first he leaped out of the boat and walked with Jesus on the water,  But then, for a moment, fear took over, as he realized he was doing the impossible.  His only hope then was to cry out to Jesus for rescue.  

Is it time for us to do the same? 

What is out of reach?

Last year, 2020, the year when time stood still and we all stayed at home... alone. It was not our best year financially.  We recently filed our income taxes.  Last year our income fell well below poverty level.  I know that we are not alone.  We as a country, and others all over the world suffered.  It was a year we all will remember.  History will be marked by it.  There will be things before covid, and things after covid.  Hmmm will there be an "after covid?"  

I want to be one who leans into Jesus when times are tough.  I want to trust Him for the things we need and rest in Him for the things we want.  But in reality, I have to work at that.  It's not always easy to choose to trust rather than worry.  I'm not concerned for my next meal.  It is already in the fridge.  So what frightens me?  Why do I need to know how my Abba Father will choose to bless me.  Isn't it enough to know that He will?  I do know that I am blessed.  But I also know that suffering can be God's best for me sometimes.  It is our training ground.

I do believe that there are harder times ahead.  Lord help me practice now.  Help me to know that you are in control, that you love your children and that you will not leave them starving.  Help us always to accept your gift with joy... even if it is not what we had in mind.

Lord, I find myself chasing rainbows, things that always seem just beyond my finger tips.  But if I deeply look at what I am grasping for... they are exactly that... rainbows, a trick of the light, mists and reflections, nothing of substance..  Psalms 63:1 says this, "O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You In a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water."

Covid is a wake up call.  Wake up O my soul... seek after the only thing that will satisfy.  

Rain in it's season,

 Deuteronomy 11:13-17 says,  "And it shall be that if you earnestly obey My commandments which I command you today, to love the Lord your God and serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul,  then I will give you the rain for your land in its season, the early rain and the latter rain, that you may gather in your grain, your new wine, and your oil. And I will send grass in your fields for your livestock, that you may eat and be filled.’ Take heed to yourselves, lest your heart be deceived, and you turn aside and serve other gods and worship them, lest the Lord’s anger be aroused against you, and He shut up the heavens so that there be no rain, and the land yield no produce, and you perish quickly from the good land which the Lord is giving you." 

Here in the North, we have had many strange weather patterns.  It was warm way too early, then cold way too late.  It rained during harvest and this spring we have seen little to none.  I have been noticing that our springs thaws and much later and our winter onset is too.  People blame climate change but I have to wonder.  Is God trying to get our attention?  Do we in some indirect ways have some control over climate change?  Not so much by preventing emissions as making admissions.  We have not taken in to account the effect holiness has on the weather.  Perhaps we should?

Obedience and a hunger for Grace

 God must have a sense of humor.  writing right now is an act of obedience... one that took me far to long to move in today.  I distract myself with so many things then late at night I ask... well, what do you want me to write about?... obedience... ouch!!!

In these times, when life is so confusing maybe?  It's hard for me to move through the molasses of my day and function.  After taking a covid break from people, it's hard to figure out how to reengage.  I'm not sure I want to!    People have become so rage full and unforgiving.  I find myself hungering for grace.  Grace... yes from God but perhaps more so from the people around me.  I remember, a long time ago now, when I was pregnant with my first born.  I often took the bus downtown to shop or get some fresh air.  When I got on the bus people fell all over themselves to offer me, an obviously pregnant woman, a seat.  

Fast forward a few years and I was on a Southwest flight and the stewardess asked if someone would give up their seat because there was a family with two small children who needed to be seated together.  Though I was traveling alone, so I was of no help.  But there were many who had the ability though not the willingness to offer their seat.  Why is it that we see ourselves as more advanced, a better society now?  I miss kindness!

How are grace and obedience connected?  I think grace is often not our knee jerk reaction.  perhaps it isn't intentional, but how often to we think of another's circumstance as more important than our own?  Offering grace requires that you are a mind awake.  I believe that obedience is the caffeine that does just that.  It draws our eyes out of the looking glass and focuses them on service.

Hebrews 5:8 says, "though He (Jesus) was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered." Obedience is hard earned.  It costs a lot.  It takes practice.  It must be learned, learned and relearned.  I need to start again... today

The Chosen

There is a video series out called "The Chosen".  It is based on the Biblical account of Jesus Christ.  I have found it very interesting!  Yes, they do fill in many of the blanks which may or may not have anything to do with truth.  But I haven't found anything to be twisty or contrary to truth.  It's more of a "Wow, I never thought of that before" kind of thing.  It fills your head with thoughts and questions related to Jesus and the disciples.  Like what did the disciples do when while at the wedding in Cana?  What was life like for them before they said yes to Jesus?  What was it like to be the mother of Jesus?  

I highly recommend this show.  Hopefully, it will feed your soul and call you into a deeper look at what it says in His book.

Let me know what you think!

Listening

Romans 10:17 says,  "So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."  I've been told that God gave us a formula for listening by giving us two ears and only one mouth.  Thus we are meant to listen twice as much as we talk.  

That's hard in any conversation... at least for me.  I have a lot of thoughts that I like to share.  But when praying, well, it's harder isn't it?  Why is that?  Is it harder to listen because His voice is like a whisper on the wind.  It's easily missed when you are intent on being heard.  But like with anyone, we will still ache to know Him, if we never hear what He has to say.  

Scripture is the first place to hear Him.  In our times where everyone stands as judge of pretty much everyone else, it's hard not to stand as judge of what we read.  But if you are in conversation with someone and if you stand as judge... you are NOT hearing anything.  Listen, ask, clarify... wait, wait, wait for an answer that satisfies.  Faith truly comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of God.  

Funny, think of that verse again, "Faith come from hearing, but hearing" (I'm thinking of the many times in my life time I have said, "You aren't hearing me!")  That miraculous gift of hearing comes by the very word of God himself.  The Gospel of John starts out by saying, "In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God and the Word was God.  Jesus Himself must somehow be a part of the message going from being listened to... to being heard.

God's art, building trust, late season frosts

I was out in God's art today (outside).  Spring is just starting to bring a little green to the drab winter landscape.  It has been brutally cold here.  it's not that unusual to be in the low 20's in late April here but after a long warm spell, it was a shock to my plants as well as my own system.  It's COLD out there!  My plum and peach tree blossoms will not recover.  There will be no fruit on them this year.  Even my tulips were bowed low to the ground this morning only to pop back up when the sun grew warm.

It's interesting to see.  I have learned that though the blossoms may still be pretty, if you look deep into the flowers, you can tell that they have been made impotent by the frost.  I wish I could see people in the same way.  Are they still fragrant and ready to bear sweet, juicy fruit, or is something in the depths of them frozen beyond redemption (at least by natural means).  

The truth is, it's not my job to know.  It's my job to scatter the seed, to love with abandon, and offer redemption to any who will hear.  But the world is so frightening now.  If I was afraid to speak of heavenly things years ago, what help is there now for me?  (Listening)  The picture I have is of Steven in Acts 7.  I used to think of myself as a failure because I couldn't imagine myself having the Steven's boldness to continue telling the truth in spite of the threat of stoning.  Steven was already caught up and moving closer and closer to heaven.  He didn't even noticed the stones.  He was too excited by his visions of where he was going.  He was trying so hard to share his vision with those who stoned him to death.  But they could not hear him.  I realized that Steven was given the power in that moment to stand and to speak boldly.  All he needed to be was willing.  

Ah, there's the rub.  Am I willing?  What is it to trust God anyway?  What am I trusting Him for?  What does He promise?  Well, He didn't promise that I would avoid pain or suffering.  That's hard for my "civilized' heart to understand but Hebrew 5:8 says, "though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered"  Jesus said, "Follow me" I'm pretty sure He knew that suffering was involved.  So is suffering to help us learn obedience?  And if so, ultimately is suffering a trust building exercise?  Do we too learn obedience by the things that we suffer?  And do we learn to lean into Him in the process?

What are your thoughts?

LORD in every and all circumstance

I believe that trusting God is the foundation of everything.  It was very difficult for me to actually trust Him.  I had, had my trust deeply broken and it was more than frightening to invest in anything again.  But trust is the one thing God requires.  Yes, we are called to obey, yes, belief is paramount, but the foundation to it all is trust.  

Do you trust Him?  Know this, if there is anything between you and Him... He will require it of you.  Think of the rich young ruler (Luke 18:18-23) What holds you back, your dreams?  your job?... your money?  Your children?  If you lost them all, would you still trust Him?  Or will you put Him on trial asking, "If You really are a "good" God, how could you let this happen?"  At the end of the day, who really has the reigns in your life?  God, when He is behaving and you when He is not?  Or God... in every and all circumstance?

You can know when your trust is in Him. When you trust God, your knee jerk reaction will be similar Job's, "The Lord gave and The Lord has taken away, Blessed be the Name of the Lord." Job 1:21b  That's tough to say when you just lost your leg in a freak accident or when your child is diagnosed with terminal cancer.  or... is it?  Aren't those the very best times to cling to Him and know that He is your one constant.  The one you know you can trust during the terrible storms.  If we have truly surrendered our lives to Him... can He not then do with our lives whatever He pleases?  If He does what in our mind is the unthinkable, do we immediately question His goodness or perhaps the goodness of our faith?  Is that trust?  

If we trust Him, we trust Him.  He is good though there are things we can not understand.  Is He capable of intervening and stopping that accident from taking our leg or healing our child.  He is... no doubt capable.  Sometimes,  though He can, He doesn't and somehow that doesn't change His goodness or the value He sees in you.  

If Jesus is truly LORD in our lives, then isn't everything we have His?  When we take Him on as LORD... in the very beginning of our walk with Him, we give up control and entrust Jesus with our lives.  I'm thinking of an old hymn we used to sing.  The chorus says this, "I surrender all, I surrender all, all to thee my blessed Savior, I surrender all.  Can we sing that today? Is all that we have, all that we are and all we can become in His hands?  I wonder if we are giving this as our gospel message.  Lay your life down, with no reserve.  Give up your "right" to the throne upon which you sit.  Step down, die to all the power the throne gave you and let a new King reign in your stead.  One who is worthy of all praise, honor, and trust.  

Finding Hope in Revelations

Have you ever had a really bad day, drug yourself home and then purposely opened the book of Revelations for comfort?  Are there days when you start hoping that "something" might happen, something that will stop tomorrow from simply following today?  

As the world becomes more hmmm angry, or lost maybe?  I find myself turning more often to Revelations hoping to find today in it's pages... somewhere close to the end.  It's not that I have a death wish, it's more that I feel like an outcast in our crazy world.  I feel like the one bright orange  car in a sea of grey ones.  And, I do find comfort in the pages of Revelations.  I believe that Jesus is "The same yesterday, today and forever." Hebrews 13:8  If that is true, then there must be something redemptive about Revelations.  There must be hope written in within it.  

I think we are all drawn to that hope when we drag ourselves back to the book.  Like today, it hit me how significant it is that our prayers are present with God even to the end of this age.  Isn't it amazing that somewhere in the throne room of God there are 24 golden bowls filled to the brim with our prayers. (Revelation 5:8)  My prayers... Your prayers...  Have you ever felt like your prayers bounced off the ceiling and never got any higher?  That couldn't be farther from the truth!  The truth is they have all been collected in golden bowls and are ever present with God.  He breaths them in and is surrounded by them.  Our prayers are His constant companions.  They matter and are important to Him.  Wow!  That's hope! 

So, knowing that God is hearing my prayers... all I can think to say is,  "Please Jesus, come for us! "

A Question of Value

Why are you here?  Are you important?  What is the point of existence?  All these questions have sad answers unless there is a God worth believing in.  What is existence for  without God who gives us the one thing we need most.  Purpose!

I believe you were created unique and vital to the time and place you were brought into.  You have inherent value based on who created you.  You have a point and purpose for being here.  Our job is to live that out.

Think it through.  God created you.  He created you to be uniquely you.  If He had wanted someone else He would have created someone else.  By the very fact that you were created, you have been deemed important.  In Luke 12:7 Jesus says,  "But the very hairs of your head are all counted. Therefore don’t be afraid. You are of more value than many sparrows" 

What does it mean, "the very heirs of your head are all counted?  I picture a mother suckling her baby, have you seen it?  Have you seen how she toys with her baby's tiny fingers and toes, she notices every wrinkle their pudgy little nose.  Nothing escapes her notice or delight.  Does God look upon us with the same delight?  I believe so!  He created you, when He created you He said it was very good! (Genesis 1:21)

The next question is... how are we to live out our purpose in these times? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Holiness

 Romans 12:1 says, "Therefore I urge you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service."  What does it mean to be a living sacrifice?  I have always heard this passage used to encourage me to do acts of service for others or for the Church.  There are other passages that fit that idea but I am getting a different impression here.  

Let's start with the "Therefore" this passage is summing up something from before.  The end of Romans 11 talks of how God gave grace and made room for the Gentiles to be brought into His covenant.  It is all about grace.  So, Since God has shown such mercy... to welcome you into His family... Sacrifice it all to be holy.

I'm not sure I understand what the word holiness means.  I've been told it means being "set apart"  Perhaps like not picking a few of the best beans because they are set apart to become seed?  I think the word has a sense of purpose.  I'm set apart for something.  So if our bodies are set apart for something, what is that something?

I'm not sure that I can know that question for you.  I think I can only know the answer for me.  And then only as I learn to hear God's leading and purpose for me.  I wonder though, if we understood that we have great purpose, that we need to sacrifice ourselves to live out that purpose,  and stand ready to be all God intends for us to be, what would happen next?

Locust plagues, God's art and chickens

I am starting to hear the word plague in connection to the locust swarms in various parts of the world right now.  Many are fighting for their lives and livelihoods as we speak.  I wonder, are locusts a part of God's art too?  Is it that they are tiny little demons that must be wiped out?  Is this God's wrath poured out?  Or is it a normal consequence of?

Locusts are an interesting, hit you when your down, sort of insect.  We don't have locust swarms here in the North but we do have grasshoppers.  A few years back, we had a severe seven year drought.  It wiped out the wheat crops and livestock were sold to avoid them all starving to death.  Ranchers wept openly in the Church we attended.  They were being crushed by their staggering losses.  Many talked of the grasshoppers which seemed to relish the conditions.  Mostly the bugs added to the overall feeling of hopelessness. 

It was a rough time.  Who could afford the to be spaying and what would be the point?  But the grasshopper comments got me thinking.  If we were agile enough, couldn't we take advantage of the bugs instead of fighting those as well?

My efforts in gardening have been to avoid any kind of chemical intervention.  I have an autoimmune disease called MCS (multiple chemical sensitivities).  That basically means my body attacks itself when it encounters synthetics.  Paint, carpet, garden chemicals... you name it, if God didn't make it, I react to it.  That gives me extra incentive to learn alternatives to chemical fertilizers or pesticides.  So is there are non chemical solution to a locusts and grasshoppers?

YES!! Chickens!! I use chickens all the time to wipe out the latest bug bloom in my garden.  Did you know that one chicken can eat 600 locusts a day?  When you are facing billions that might not seem like a lot, but if in mass, locusts don't stand a chance.  What if instead of raising crops when locusts storms are looming, we raised birds?  far fetched?  China is finding great success using chickens to control their own locust infestations.  

But back again to God's art.  I believe in the world that God created, it is all about balance.  In gardening holistically, balance is everything.  It's really about bringing your land back to God's original intent.  If we move in harmony with His art, we are blessed with wonderful bounty.  When we move against it, eventually our house of cards will fall.  When we tip the scales and bring the world out of balance, the ripples spread far and wide.  Hmmm balance, what does it take to find it?  

Politically correct?

We are working so hard to be "Politically" correct.  But what is the fruit of it?  It feels like I'm wearing a wool suit that was stuck in the drier!  I don't even know from one day to the next what is or isn't "O.K."  Mostly, I feel frightened and intimidated.  I'm sure one day I will cross some invisible line and become the victim of the cruelty that comes when you are thought to be politically incorrect.  One thing is for sure. with all the emphasis on inclusion, I feel less included than I ever have.

Don't get me wrong, I believe that we should be color blind, that women should be paid the same as anyone would be paid for the work they accomplish.  I don't care what sexual persuasion you are, if you did the job, you should get the pay.  That just makes sense.  But color blind, is color blind.  It needs to go both ways.  And be based not on equality... but compassion. 

Women should be paid their worth because we as a people understand that the weight of the world is on their shoulders or simply because all people are people, and people are worth it.  Period, no exception.  I choose to include you because I care about you!  What good is "equality" if, at it's core, there is a sense of compunction or fear?  Fear fosters resentment... not equality!

A basic law of physics: "If you want my respect.  Treat me with respect".  Doesn't that go without saying?  We live in a country that has paid dearly for the right to say freely, and without fear, what is on our hearts.  

How does all this fit into freedom?  I'm thinking of Galatians 5:13  "For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love."  What about the demand to be "politically correct" fosters love?  

At the end of the day, I figure if I focus on "correctness", I have taken my eyes off of Jesus and that never ends well.  But if I focus on HimnGalatians 5:22-23 says, "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law."  Isn't that a better goal?

Thoughts while outside

Well, when you went outside to look at God's art... what did you see?  

I am a perfectionist at times.  This week I have been working on an old shed.  We insulated it and put up sheet rock.  We used some bits and pieces of sheet rock which are a nightmare to tape and mud and get smooth enough to paint. At least it is a nightmare for a perfectionist.

We finally found some remote work that will allow us to put food on the table while still socially distancing.  The problem is, we have no room for an office in our house.  So we are repurposing our shed. It is coming along, but it will take at least three days of mudding to bury the lines and holes and streaks and imperfections and make it "perfect".  Perfection... hmmm

Looking outside in God's art there is none of what I am striving to create.  There are no even corners or straight lines of any kind!  Every tree has branches going every which way few trunks are even close to straight the leaves are all different shapes and yet God called it good when He made it.  

Hmmm, Matthew 5:48 says, "Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect."  What is perfect?  I'm pretty sure His call to perfection has nothing to do with our understanding of the word.

What could have been

 I have been pondering the exodus story.  Actually, I was thinking about the food.  When the Israelites left Egypt they were rushed out the door,  they had just cleansed their houses of all yeast so all they could make on the road was flat bread.  They didn't have much, but they had some.  

The journey they took could have been a two week journey, even with the many excursions that God had planned it might have been a month or more.  But it is less than 400 miles from Egypt to Israel.  A trip that would take us less than a day by car.  They wandered the wilderness because they lacked the courage to go home.

Back to the food.  I have no clue what manna tasted like but imagine the idea of not having to plant, gather, grind or maybe even bake?  I'm wondering what it tasted like.  Was it boring?  Or full of flavor?  They missed leeks and onions so I'm guessing it was mild in flavor.  But what if there was more to it than just taste?  What if the point was to cleanse and strengthen their bodies.  They had been slaves, undernourished and overworked.  Perhaps there was more to this manna than we think.  Perhaps it was a superfood!

I'm thinking of herbs.  Having struggled with autoimmune disease for many years, I use herbal remedies more because there were no medical solutions.  Often it is recommended to take a "course" of some herb.  That would be 30 days and then rest from that particular herb rather than to take something continually.  What if manna was intended for healing?  And what if adding meat (the quail) might have slowed or even stopped the healing?  I wonder...

God's Art

 Romans 1:20 says, "For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse"  

Wow, God's invisible attributes are clearly seen.  Is that saying that the core of who God is can be clearly seen?  Isn't this saying we have the opportunity to know God? Even His eternal power and Godhead.  Wow, what an amazing opportunity... and we are missing it!

Can we really know Him at the core of who He is?  I'm thinking of a song we used to sing, "I want to know You, I want to hear Your voice, I want to Know you Lord."  I'm thinking of the many times I have put myself out there with the hope that someone will take the time to understand.  Has God done that for us?  Have we been given the poetry that pours forth from the very depths of God's being and not read it?

So where are His attributes clearly seen? Romans says, The things that God created give us opportunity to understand Him.  His art reveals His heart.  His art is everywhere!  His mediums are diverse.  He uses wind, and birdsong, and texture and power.  

Go outside!  Turn off your computer and go!!!  Find a space where what He has made is visible and seek to understand it's maker.   In our world packed with our own creations, look for what we can not duplicate and have not ruined.  Look at the one little flower that braves it's way through a crack in the pavement.  We made the pavement.... He made the flower.  Are we covering up more than just the ground?  Are we smudging a master piece?  

Perhaps if we understood the earth as God's amazing masterpiece, we would tread more lightly on the things that He has made.  Certainly we are without excuse.

Humanness

 What is it to be really human?  Luke 10:25-37 says this, 

"And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”

He said to him, “What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?”

So he answered and said, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’ ”

And He said to him, “You have answered rightly; do this and you will live.”

But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

Then Jesus answered and said: “A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.  Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.  Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side.  But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion.  So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him.  On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said to him, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.’  So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?”

 And he said, “He who showed mercy on him.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”

Perhaps the question is... how do we go and do likewise?  How would the world change if we all went and did likewise?  How can we become merciful?  How do we show this level of compassion, concern and dedication?  Can we all agree on this... that this Samaritan man was human in a way we all want to be?  Can we start with kindness even on social media?  Can we see... really see the pain of others and choose to offer compassion instead of condemnation?  I'm thinking of a song by Brandon Heath "Give me Your Eyes" God, open our eyes and teach us to show mercy!

Cancel or Kindness?

I watched a movie last night called "Not Cinderella's type".  Check it out here.  I'm a sucker for a good chick flick... but it has to be a good chick flick.  That means it doesn't twist my truth.  There aren't these instant bed scenes that make sex the object.  They have to have some depth of meaning.  I know,  that is a  high standard these days.  But I found this movie to touch something deeply inside.  Not because there was a little romance running through it, and the the happy-ever-after ending was unrealistic, but it was pretty ideal.

I was struck by the contrast and the kindness.  "Not Cinderella's type"  The contrast was between two boys who wanted the attentions of "Indy"(the Cinderella character in the story) One was a very good friend who loved Indy in her circumstance.  He loved being with her, but never really defended her. The other saw her circumstance and was moved to offer kindness and rescue.  Ultimately the story was of a girl learning to have her own voice.

I found myself playing back the part where she was treated with kindness.  She is overwhelmed by the littlest acts of kindness.  It touched my soul just to see such goodness.  Funny, we see many things in movies but goodness is rare.  

I wasn't raised with much kindness so I can, in some ways, relate to Indy.  As our society turns more from kindness to hostility, I have felt the same dread as when I was younger.  My question is why?  Or maybe why not?  Why do we choose a mean spirit instead of a kind one?  And why not choose to go against the flow and pick one good thing about the people you encounter to dwell on today?  Perhaps, if we focus on the good, kindness will come of it.

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." 

Daring to draw Near

 I read a book many years ago called "Daring to Draw Near" by John White.  In it was a challenge to truly get close and personal with God and to lay before Him your needs.  My family and I were in pretty dire straights.  We were without work and facing bills we could not pay.  Still, it felt petty to me to ask the God of the universe for a job.  It also felt like He already knows my dilemma so what's the point of asking?  I'm not sure where all that came from.  Perhaps I felt small in insignificant?  Or maybe like a black sheep, an annoyance perhaps?  I know that we tend to attach to God the attributes or our fathers good or bad.  I was certainly an annoyance to my earthly father, what was I to God?  How do you draw near when at your core, your riddled with fear and insecurities?

It was a struggle, but I laid all my misgivings aside and simply opened my heart and presented my concerns.  Though hesitant, I asked specifically, it was the middle of August, and I told God we needed to be employed by the first of September.  It felt a bit ridiculous I think.  Maybe I felt demanding and self absorbed, but at the same time, I took a step closer to the God of the universe.  I came to Him in need of what I could not do myself.  I was asking for a miracle.  Not demanding one, but asking like a child asks her Father.  It was the first time I had ever approached God as His child... It's hard to explain.  Just in the drawing near, I was changed... He was closer.  Like the James 4:8 says, "Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you"  It's really true...  I dare you to do you same!

The end of the story started with a phone call.  We didn't call them, never sent in an application.  They called us!  There was an immediate need and our name came up, could we start right away?  We started our job on August 29th.  And I could almost see the twinkle in the eyes of God. 

Draw near, I dare ya!

Integrity, the hard right thing

What does it mean to have integrity? I wonder when we stopped teaching responsibility to our children.  Like when your child hits a baseball though a neighbor's window, isn't it time for your child to do the hard right thing and work off the cost of a replacement window?   How does that translate for us?  What is integrity?  

I wonder what the difference is between integrity and faithfulness?  I'm thinking of Luke 16:10 where it says,  "He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much."  Is it integrity to be consistent?  Meaning, that you do and act the same when you are being watched as you do when no one is looking?  Are you faithful in the little things?

I'm thinking of the times when I get to my car and realize that I have something in my grocery cart I neglected to pay for.  When my kids were little this was a BIG deal.  I wanted to live a life of integrity but I didn't want to drag my cranky, weary kids back into the store just to get back in line or explain to someone I was returning something I didn't pay for.  Integrity, isn't integrity I guess, unless is doing the HARD right thing.

I know a man who has to decide tonight whether he continues to walk on the path that he's on, or admit he isn't able to fake it anymore.  Life is tough!  And fewer people understand integrity both on the giving and receiving side.  But, isn't it refreshing when someone taps you on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me but you just dropped this hundred dollar bill on the floor."  (I know, who has a hundred dollar bill these days eh? but you get my point!)

Integrity, the hard right thing... Isn't it time we lived it? 

I Stand to Wonder...

I stand... on what?  What is important to me?  What is expendable?  I don't think we really know the answer to that until we are tested... really tested.  I had a friend once.  She was very dear to me and I to her.  I'm sure we both thought that we would watch our grandchildren grow up together.  But then a day came when she had a choice.  Stick up for me and pay a huge personal price, or throw me under the bus.  I'm not sure how easy a choice it was for her but she made it without hesitation.  I was crushed under the weight of the bus.

I wonder if we do the same with Jesus.  We are dedicated, live our lives out fully for Him.  But like those disciples that left him when his teaching got hard John 6:51-58.  We dump Him at the first sign of trouble.  Isn't that why Jesus said  it?  To weed out those that would surely throw Him under the bus before they would wrestle with a hard saying?

Where are we?  Do we stand to wonder?  Or stand to judge? 

133 car pile up, who's at fault?

There was a 133 car pile up in Texas yesterday.  Many people were injured... some died.  Fire crews went from car to car doing triage.  The police took over from there.  They looked into every car and decided who was ok, who needed immediate medical or physical attention, who were beyond their resources to save, and who were already gone. It's a horrible trauma to be the guy (or gal) who has to run from car to car and do what he can, when he can.  It will take weeks, months, maybe forever for the pictures in their minds to fade away.  And yet here they were, in the freezing cold, giving their all to help who they could.

There are many others who jumped in to help.  Ordinary people who were there at the scene and all the myriad of wrecking crews who will be dealing with the carnage for days as they sort out the wreckage and bring the freeway back into working order.  

My heart goes out to them all as I saw this morning news.  The talk of the day was not full of gratitude for the grueling effort of our first responders.  Not even an offering of comfort for all those involved.  Or thankfulness for those who survived and those who got it cleaned up.  Instead news was a vicious call to root out who might be at fault.  At fault?  Really?

I live in the North.  This year we are still three feet behind from our average snowfall.  Which gives you a picture of my experience with snow.  Here, much responsibility is placed on the one who chooses to drive when the weather is bad.  Ultimately it is my responsibility to decide when and if I drive.  And it is my responsibility if I do not choose wisely.  

At the same time, sometimes... it just is what it is and no one can always foresee a hazard.  I remember a time when I was driving down the interstate on dry pavement, it was cold and snowing but nothing was sticking.  All of the sudden there was a literal line on the road.  On one side of the line it was bare and dry, on the other side, it was black ice, thick and deadly.  There was no warning at all!  There was no way to prepare and no one was being foolish even though we were all of the sudden going way too fast for the conditions of the road.  Over 40 cars piled up just behind me.  I barely escaped the same fate.  Until it was too late, no one knew what was coming.  Sometimes... it just is what it is.

It's not the fault of the road crew guys.  They are people.  They have a heart.  Most enjoy their job because it is a service to others.  Sometimes, it just is what it is and no one can know more than we know.  

Please, please... now is the time for gratitude and gratefulness.  There is so much more good that we can do when we look for and focus on the good.  

Philippians 4:8 says, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.

Meditate on these things!

Consider your Destiny: Lamentations 1:8-9

“Jerusalem has sinned gravely, therefore she has become vile.  All who honored her despise her because they have seen her nakedness; yes, she sighs and turns away.  Her uncleanness is in her skirts; she did not consider her destiny; therefore her cal apse was awesome; she had no comforter. "  Lamentations 1:8-9

I have been spending time in Lamentations lately.  I am beginning to relate more deeply to Jeremiah because he saw the destruction of Israel coming and yet no one would listen to his warning.  In fact, he was punished for speaking the truth in the name of God.  

I’m thinking of Frances Schaeffer’s book, “How shall we then live?”  Which compares our cultural progression with the corruption and eventual fall of ancient Rome.  It is clear that we are corrupting but are we falling?  It sure feels like falling from here.

In reading this passage in Lamentations, this phrase caught my attention, “She did not consider her destiny”  Wow!  What does that mean?  And do we consider our destiny?  If we did, would it change how we navigate every day life?  Would we be making different/better decisions?

Consider your destiny…then what?  If I take my destiny into consideration what will that change?  Is it too late?  I believe God gives every opportunity.  That God waits on the edge of His seat.  He LONGS for us to return to His original intent. 

If we, the church, consider our destiny what will that look like? Certainly now is the time to find out, don't you think?

Where'd you go Bernadette? Is there a place for Artists? (Spoiler alert)

Have you seen the movie, "Where'd you go Bernadette?"  It has an interesting point.  I was struck with a deep understanding both of the lostness of Bernadette and the statement of her friend when he said "If an artist stops creating, they become a menace to society.  That is SO true!  

From my perspective, artists are a different species.  They may be difficult to understand, but they are often listening, seeing, and feeling the world with totally different intensity.  That intensity is a clamor   that rings in their ears like a dissonant chord.  Creators must create.  (really... are we not all created in His image as creators?)

I'm thinking of Genesis.  I have heard many ask the question, "Why did God make man?"  Considering the mess we have made of ourselves, it's a really good question.  But looking from the perspective of an artist, God is the creator... and creators must create!  

Exodus 31:3 says, “Behold, I have called by name Bezalel the son of Uri, the son of Hur, of the tribe of Judah. I have filled him with the Spirit of God, in wisdom, and in understanding, and in knowledge, and in all kinds of workmanship,"  The passage goes on to describe many others that God had filled with the ability to create beautiful things for the tabernacle.  He created artists to create, He also created singers to sing! 1 Chronicles 9:33 says, "These are the singers, heads of fathers’ households of the Levites, who lived in the rooms and were free from other service; for they were employed in their work day and night."  Day and night they were employed to sing.  That sounds like heaven to me!  These passages say to me that God has made a place for the artist.

At the end of the movie, Bernadette, a very famous architect  who hadn't worked for years, suddenly was inspired to design a project.  It seemed to me a bit unrealistic that she should get the job so easily.  It doesn't seem that simple does it?   Right now the emphases is on STEM subjects.  And that's good stuff to learn.  But, if you are an artist, it's hard to stir up interest in say... computer programming or biology.  There are masterpieces to create!

It is hard now to find a place for artistic juices.  No one is seeking a painter for the Cystine Chapel!  Nor a court composer for the upcoming ball.  But tucked inside us all is a gift... It may not be perfect by the worlds standard, but it sets our soul free when we move in it.  Seek the LORD, seek the place He has for you and Create!

Making money square foot gardening

 I have worked to start an urban farm for the last three years.  At first, I sought to create a profitable farm with the side benefits of having good food to eat.  I soon realized that my community was pretty urban farming averse so I spent the time doing research, blessing friends and family and at the same time eating really good food!

One of my first efforts was to become a certified "Square Foot Gardening" instructor.  I had been using a hybrid of the Square food garden method for a few years.  It had been amazingly successful with much less work from my previous gardening, so I set about trying to do square foot on a large scale.  My gardens did amazing! 

If you want to be successful the very first year you plant.  Square foot gardening is a great way to get started.  Start by reading the Square foot garden book.  Read the whole book don't just skim through it.  And pay close attention to where he has you put your gardens.  This is the lazy man's way of successfully growing vegetables.

I invested a significant amount the first year buying all the ingredients for the boxes and the boxes themselves.  If you want to be consistently successful the very first year, using the Square foot ingredients for your soil is a must.  (1/3 compost from 5 different sources like cow, chicken, bat, worms, 1/3 vermiculite and 1/3 peat-moss) Many people will tell you that perlite is just as good as vermiculite but don't believe them!  Perlite floats and tends to wash away and make a mess and really it isn't as attractive over all.  Potting soil or topsoil from your nursery will not give you the same results.  If you can't afford all the ingredients, just use compost as suggested in the book.  Start making your own compost right away, you will need it for next year!  

Square foot gardening is hands down the best system I found for beginners and being successful year after year.  However, take the time before you plant to put in an automatic watering system.  If you do it yourself, they are not too much more than the investment you already made in set up and if you want to be a lazy gardener,  (the only kind worth being in my opinion) then take watering off your plate from the very beginning.  If you run soaker hoses down the middle of each row you are set to go!

But the question is, can you make money?  I'm still on the fence about that.  I wasn't able to test the theory where we lived.  I did have takers for an urban CSA but the investment in soil and boxes was big and I am more and more leaning towards a regenerative lifestyle which square foot doesn't address.  Making my soil instead of mimicking how nature establishes healthy soil seems counter productive and very expensive in comparison.  My thoughts so far are, yes, you can make money, you certainly can be successful and building soil fertility takes years where as Square foot will grow wonderful veggies the very first year! But I'm looking into ways that are more sustainable and less expensive up front.  If you have any new ideas let me know.  

Good finders

 For someone who struggles with a fear of rejection (which I do!).  The world has become a very scary place!  Social media seems to make it so easy to be critical.  Conformity has become a demand on both sides (that is if there are only two) and independent thinking demonized.  It is now assumed if we don't think alike, there must be some dark and sinister motive for our thinking...Where does all this ugliness come from?  And how as Christians do we navigate?

I'm thinking of the first part of 1 Corinthians 13:7.  This is how it is translated in the amplified version: "Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person" Wow! I want to experience that kind of love from my community, my church, my friends, my family!  I want people to at least try to believe the best of me.  What a gift that would be!  I don't want people to just say something nice to my face.  I want them to truly believe the best... even when I am not around.  Don't we all?

I was looking for reference to the saying "Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his moccasins"  and came across an article about Mary T Lathrap and a copy of her poem "Walk a Mile in his Moccasins" originally called "Judge Softly"  In her poem she writes:

Just walk a mile in his moccasins
Before you abuse, criticize and accuse.
If just for one hour, you could find a way
To see through his eyes, instead of your own muse.

I believe you’d be surprised to see
That you’ve been blind and narrow-minded, even unkind.
There are people on reservations and in the ghettos
Who have so little hope, and too much worry on their minds.

What if we were good finders instead of fault finders?  What if we offered kindness instead of condemnation.  What if we assumed that people wanted to be kind but were crushed under the weight of criticism and condemnation?  I too am guilty of assuming evil motive... It's time to repent.

What is Forgiveness?

Have you ever been betrayed?  I don't mean the kind of betrayal where you simply shake your head and walk away disgusted. I mean the kind of betrayal that knocks you down and leaves you writhing on the floor.  Sometimes trust is irrevocably broken.  Sometimes it can't be fixed.  Sometimes, no matter how hard we try, the scene plays over and over in our heads and we are powerless to stop it.

What then?  How can we move forward?  And how can we stop the pain?  If you have tasted this kind of pain, I can relate and I am so very sorry.  I get it, it's like eating an unquenchable fire.  Betrayal SUCKS!  And for what seems like an eternity, moving forward is hard.   For a long time, it takes work just to breathe in and breathe out.  And NO!  Time does NOT heal all wounds!  Nor should it.  

Pain is a gift from the Lord.  It is intended for our protection.   In our physical bodies pain is there to tell us to take care.  If we broke a leg but felt no pain,  how would we know to seek medical attention?

Emotional pain is also there to help.  Without pain how would we ever move forward out of the unhealthy into something more sane?  It helps us to make changes and become more than we are.  Pain gives us the choice to become bitter or better, gracious or ugly.  What will we choose?  And how can we choose well?

I have been told many times that forgiveness is the key to moving forward, and yes, that's true but...  I wonder if forgiveness may be the destination and yet there is no way to arrive without first taking the journey.  I find many who are trying their hardest to forgive without ever allowing themselves to feel hurt.  For some it's simply not ok to be angry.  It's almost as if we believe that anger in itself is sinful.  Yet Ephesians 4:6 commands us, "Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger," 

I believe that forgiveness is humanly impossible.  We keep trying with our own might to forgive but forgiveness never really comes until we seek the LORD for a new heart and a new perspective.  Sitting on the side of the LORD'S perspective, we see both our own deep pain and the pain of those who have betrayed us.  We see a God of justice and we can not help but cry out "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing"

We are Moving!!

It started with my husband getting sick... very sick.  We weren't sure to what degree he would recover.  I started seeking God for what was next and how I might help augment our income enough that he could take a break from working.  We are a team.  It has been many years since I have worked independently of our home life and business.  I couldn't imagine trying to do something similar for someone else.  I spent many days crying out to God for vision, hope and a sense of future.  I felt led to try my hand at what I enjoy the most... growing things.

So for the last three years we have worked to build a small urban farm in the North.   We started with the idea that we could produce enough to share and slowly build a clientele while at the same time producing clean, healthy food for our family.  It has been a challenge.  We purchased a small foreclosed house that was on almost an acre of land.  

The laws in our city allow for farm animals as long as they are housed at least 100 feet from any dwelling including our own.  This piece of property made that possible.  So we added two sweet little miniature goats. It was also legal for us to grow all the vegetables we wanted both in the front and back yards of our property. But, too late we learned, we are not allowed  to put up a hoop house anywhere nor is it legal to sell one carrot from our gardens.  That’s right, I can grow bushels of carrots.  I can give them away, but selling them is illegal. I don’t understand

I could grow vegetables inside my house and sell those.  Heck, I could grow pot if I wanted to and sell that!  But selling vegetables grown outside my house is… evil?  I don’t understand 

Don’t get me started on raising bees which are only allowed if you have like 100 feet on all sides of your hives.  Bees are endangered and vital. We should be asking everyone to keep bees.  We should teach our children how to raise them in schools, not limiting who can have the privilege of keeping them.  I don’t understand.

After we purchased our property a specific law for chickens was passed.  You can have urban chickens provided you get permission from your neighbors, and you are willing to pay 43 dollars a year for a permit.  Really?  You want to give that kind of power to neighbors?  I can have up to 7 dogs on my property and no one can object.  How are chickens more of a nuisance?  And, how many eggs can you buy for 43 dollars?  At what point have we lost break even?  I don’t understand.

People are fickle aren’t they?  In the years during World War Two it was considered our civic duty to grow a garden and raise our own chickens.  Every household was asked to raise their own so that we could feed our county without the need for a foreign supply.  How did we get here from there?

All that said, I have tried to seek help with advocacy groups and the laws may be changing… slowly.  But in the mean time so much has changed this last year.  Our city was deeply effected by the riots this summer.  Many on both sides of the debate are angry.  There was a murder, outside on the street a few blocks from my house not long ago. Just this week our neighborhood was flooded with armed police and tactical teams carrying assault rifles who, in the middle of the night, combed our backyard guns drawn looking for someone or something. We don’t know what.  They said hello to my goats on their way out, but left us wondering what dangers lurked in the night outside our home.

We are moving to the country.  We bought a few acres outside of town.  The laws there are so much more friendly.  I can have whatever animals I want and sell whatever I grow right from my own little vegetable stand.  I like the concept of an urban farm, I think we need to start utilizing what we have to feed our own families. But today, I am plumb out of fight.  We are trading our dream in for a new one.